A List of Goals that Kinda Turned Into a Michelle Obama Rant

It's good to have goals.

*Following yesterday's post, I've vowed that Owen will only watch one hour of television a day. As we speak, he is outside, playing with his water-sand table, happy as can be. My neighbor gave him a cookie, which reaffirms Owen's view that the world is a fantastic place where magical things happen all the time. (And by the way, Facebook friends, I know that this is my status report, too. Although Owen sees magic in the world, his mother is NOT made of magic, and only has so much creativity to give.)

*We're about to go to Grandma and Grandpa Campbell's house to do Early Easter (all of the fun, none of the big, elaborate meals) with the grandparents, Aunt Erin, Uncle Doug, and Cousin William. I'm going to step back and let Owen and William figure things out for themselves. There will be toy-snatching. There will be tears. There may even be fisticuffs. But, for once, there will not be Nancy, the Insane Helicopter Parent, micro-managing Owen's every move. Unless blood is shed, I'm going to let natural consequences do the teaching.

*Since the Washington and British press have determined that Michelle Obama is the Black Jackie O (I stole that from my friend, Coby), I am going to try to be more like her. You've probably heard a bit about her arms, since it's been breathlessly discussed EVERY SINGLE DAY since Obama won the election. (By the way, if I lived in Chicago, I wouldn't bother having toned arms because it is SO COLD that you're in a parka, like nine months of the year...)

Anyway, as was the case with Owen, I am getting a little bicep on my right arm, because that's the side that I carry twenty-pound Joel. I've attempted to hold Joel on the left, so I can be equally cut, but it just feels off. I'm afraid I'll drop him.

The only solution to this is: working out both arms or having twins. Guess what I'm going to do? If your answer involves a double stroller, you're WRONG.

In addition to having Michelle arms, I am going to plant a vegetable garden this year, just like she did on the White House Lawn. Or at least buy a tomato plant.

I'm going to attempt to buy some stylish summer dresses that I can wear with cute cardigans. How fun that will be. However, I will not buy them at J. Crew. If I read one more time that Michelle Obama is "everywoman" because she shops at J. Crew, I will eat the magazine. The "everywomen" I know shop at Old Navy---maybe The Limited if they're feeling extravagant.

Finally, in an attempt to be like Michelle Obama, I will get an Ivy League education, hug Queen Elizabeth, and make my children clean their rooms.

Or at least do one of those things. You guess which one.