Wednesday, February 10, 2010

My Life In Haiku

Continuing a trend from last week....

The snow gently falls
My ass continues to grow
Snowbound gluttony.

I bought an orchid
It stretches like an old man,
Glorious release.

I missed the deadline
For Owen's soccer sign-up
Mother of the year.

Just read Stones to Schools
Education can curtail
The stain of lost hope.

The rules of TV
Are off the table for now.
An orgy of crap.

Hanging from the roof,
This instrument of carnage.
Holy effing shit.

Finally...the Lost haiku of the week:

Perhaps it is time,
For Jack to go far away,
Crazy Claire is back.

Do you have anything you wish to share in a 5-7-5 syllable pattern? Please do! There were lots of good ones from last week, but these two are my favorites:

Housewives are you real?
So many fights between all,
Bring it next season.

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense


Tracie said...

You haikus are hilarious. I can't do them because counting syllables is too much like math. Math makes my brain hurt.

Coby said...

Love it!

Okay, here's mine from The Bachelor:

Tears, pouts, boobs in dress
Chooses job, not boy - that wench!

Okay, that sucked, but it was fun!

LB said...

Those are awesome. You are just a regular Emily Dickinson, aren't you??

Poetry was never my thing. Not enough rules... Here's the best I've got:

Damn! Snow day again?
I'm still wearing the pjs
I put on last week.

And another:

Those scary noises,
Sound like nails on a chalkboard.
It's your kids, dumbass.

clearness said...

Haiku's are difficult.....good work!

Ms. Moon said...

My husband watches
Basketball. I guess I'll wash
The fucking dishes.

Robin said...

youre fun to visit
laughing my big fat ass off
no its not gone yet


Im mad at the hubs
browsing hot male movie stars
while he plows the snow

Ok .. so Im new at this

Robin said...

I love Ms Moons...LOLOL

Muliebrity said...

Mrs Moon, Wow! Wow!
Distain of basketball makes
Best Haiku ever

Marla said...

I would not dare it
a Haiku written by me
Stands no chance with yours

Cat said...

OK, I suck at poetry but here's my shot:

I live in the south
Panic at forty degrees
No canned goods at store

Unknown Mami said...

I should be working
Instead I read your Haikus
You should pay me, no?

michelle said...

totally impressed
with all the bloggy haiku

Trudy Woodland said...

Our video rules have flown out the window too. Still they are going mad.

Corrie Howe said...

Now that you gave me the pattern for Haikus, maybe I'll put them in my line for a Thursday Tackle.

Faith brought in an icicle that pale in comparison to yours.

Erin said...

I love the one about the orchid, but they're all fantastic!

Anonymous said...

1. Haikus here are great
You should get a McLinky
I would join the fun

2. My kid is crazy
freaking over the moon cracked
I need a strong drink

3. I am effing cold
my finger joints are aching
when will summer come

4. Laundry piled high
the sink is running over
I am reading blogs

5. He's yelling again!
When will this week be over
did someone say drinks?!

Debbie said...

That first one truly did have me howling out loud! You are funny:)

Sonya said...

LOL you seriously crack me up..every single time I come on here I laugh outloud and everyone stares at me:)

I could never write poetry..

Mel said...

I thought I hated haiku until now! My daughter had to write three last night and it was painful. But yours, hilarious. I'd love to write you one back, but I have aspergers apparently and only do iambic pentameter!

Melani said...

Man how do you come up with this stuff???? AMazing! See, I can't even think of a Haiku, much less try to write one!

Taylor Family said...

Here's mine for the week:

Need to lose my gut
On Weight Watchers, this sucks ass
Loathe baby carrots

sd said...

Screw Valentine's Day.
If he won't give it to you,
Give it to yourself.