Friday, February 5, 2010

Starts with a TMI, but it gets better....

I'll start right off with the TMI and get it out of the way:

This morning, I was sitting on the throne, re-enacting "I Didn't Know That I Was Pregnant," (except that I gave birth to a turd, not a surprise baby).

I wiped, as you do, and gave a little peek. Nothing. I wiped again. Nothing.

Ninja shits. They're stealthy. They come, do their dirty work,  and leave no evidence.

Talk about a Friday Fragment:
Mommy's Idea

(Thanks Mrs. 4444 for hosting. And....sorry).

Speaking of grossness, I love getting a big chunk of earwax out of Joel's ears. It's so satisfying. It's also horrifying how quickly the stuff builds up. Earwax is like my Blog Reader. You've gotta keep that stuff under control, or it's a big ol' mess.

I heard Owen rummaging around the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning. I pulled myself out of bed, and saw him with a block of Colby cheese and a corkscrew. "I'm shredding cheese, mom!"

I was glad he had the corkscrew out. Mommy needed some special grape juice that morning.

I haven't left the house today, and I probably won't until at least Sunday, because we're being hit by yet another snowstorm. I'm not wearing a bra (which doesn't make a difference to the girls---they're petite), and I have yet to take a shower.

However, I am wearing lipstick. I always wear lipstick.

I have a song I sing to the boys, "I love my little Owen/Joely boy/He is his mommy's pride and joy/I love my little Owen/Joely boy." Then, I squeeze them twice. My mother sang this song to me, except she didn't call me a boy.

That would just be weird.

Owen also expressed himself musically this morning, singing, "Happy Merry Valentines Day!" Then, he complemented himself, "That's a great song, Owen!"

Indeed it is, Buddy.

Happy Friday, everybody!


SamiJoe said...

u r 2 funny!

Robin said...

Im LMAO..cuz i just didnt picture you saying turd or stealthy ninja shitz...but you are so could say antything..its just funny..ya know when sometimes someone says somthing and you just werent expecting it.well thats what I anyway..I agree with that..they come do their dirty work and leave no evidence..Holy shit..toooo funny..! you are a riot..!

won said...

Here's to home, braless and Friday!

If I had some of that special grape juice, I'd offer up a toast.

Caution Flag said...

That's picture I will take to my grave. Thanks :/

I'm going to toast you, too, tonight. Finally! An excuse to drink.

Erin said...

Bring on Mommy's Special grape juice!

Sonya said...

Man Im jealous..I wish I could go braless..however my freaking mud flaps would be swooshing all over the place.

you're the best you know that?

Melani said...

As always a wonderful post! :)

Tracie said...

Does Special Grape Juice complement Nyquil?

June said...

Ninja Shit - hahahahhaaaa!

Special grape juice will be in my glass tonight!

I think I need to add lipstick to my daily routine... Ward would get a good chuckle out of seeing me with my hair still sticking up, still in my yoga pants & sweatshirt wearing lipstick. Gonna give that one a try!!

Frau said...

OMG you crack me up!! I love you are bra less but sporting makeup. Love your son happy valentine cute! Have a wonderful weekend!!

Ms. Moon said...


Anonymous said...

Haha. Loved it. Sounds like your boys keep things fun and interesting at your house!

Kara @ His, Hers and Ours said...

First time reader, and OMG am I laughing my ass off!


blueviolet said...

You just never cease to amuse me!

Rebecca said...

I don't know if it's my limited attention span, or my ability to understand gross humor, along with silly little stories.....but Fragmented Friday's are my favorite. Thanks for posting!

Corrie Howe said...

Did you read Daffy's TMI about mooning her husband? Your first fragment reminded me of it.

I love what a problem-solver Owen is...corkscrew is an ingenious way to shred cheese!

I haven't left my house in weeks except for doctor's appointments. I'm so ready to get out....may need to go buy cigarettes even though I don't smoke. That's what mom did when she'd been home too long with us.

Nikia, May and da kids said...

I stay braless all the time unless I have to leave the house and mainly times a tank top with a little support is my bra of choice.

I already left the house once today and it amazes me that people who were raised in Minnesnowda DO NOT know how to drive and so a bunch of accidents. Glad I am from LA.

I sing to my daughter every night even though she seems annoyed by it now that she is growing up = ) Dang kids, why do they grow up??


Cat said...

Special grape juice for the win!

I love making up little songs for Boy. I love that you remember what your mom made up for you.

Mama Zen said...

Ninja shits . . . that is the funniest thing that I have read in a while!

Amie said...

I love how this post had a little bit of everything in it--a little poo, a little song, a little special grape juice...So funny.

Coby said...

So glad I'm not the only one who thinks getting earwax out is so so satisfying!

You are flippin' hilarious!

mama-face said...

LOL. T'was TMI to be sure. haha.

Best fragmented friday ever. :)

Bekah said...

Well,lipstick is certainly a sign of a Classy Lady...even one with Ninja Shits!

Unknown Mami said...

Ninja shits!? Do they still stink or are they odorless too?

erika said...

I knew you could get away with anything after the Snuggie picture. This is seriously funny :)

I share your passion for baby earwax.

michelle said...

This just made me chuckle from beginning to end.

Minivan Lover said...

Shredded cheese in the am?! OOO was he going to make some yummy omelet? I'll be right over!

Juliana said...

I am laughing SOOOOOO hard I think I just woke up the baby. I am your newest and happiest lil follower ha ha. I hope that you will come by and follow back. Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog

Jen said...

I swear you live in my closet. ;) My boys have done the shredded cheese trick, but have also done it with an entire Costco sized bag of granola. In bed. ;)
My blog reader needs to visit the ENT for a cleaning apparently. It's stuffed full.
Special grape juice. Note to self: hit the liquor store tomorrow afternoon or tomorrow night may get ugly. LOL