This morning, I was sitting on the throne, re-enacting "I Didn't Know That I Was Pregnant," (except that I gave birth to a turd, not a surprise baby).
I wiped, as you do, and gave a little peek. Nothing. I wiped again. Nothing.
Ninja shits. They're stealthy. They come, do their dirty work, and leave no evidence.
Talk about a Friday Fragment:
(Thanks Mrs. 4444 for hosting. And....sorry).
***
Speaking of grossness, I love getting a big chunk of earwax out of Joel's ears. It's so satisfying. It's also horrifying how quickly the stuff builds up. Earwax is like my Blog Reader. You've gotta keep that stuff under control, or it's a big ol' mess.
***
I heard Owen rummaging around the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning. I pulled myself out of bed, and saw him with a block of Colby cheese and a corkscrew. "I'm shredding cheese, mom!"
I was glad he had the corkscrew out. Mommy needed some special grape juice that morning.
***
I haven't left the house today, and I probably won't until at least Sunday, because we're being hit by yet another snowstorm. I'm not wearing a bra (which doesn't make a difference to the girls---they're petite), and I have yet to take a shower.
However, I am wearing lipstick. I always wear lipstick.
***
I have a song I sing to the boys, "I love my little Owen/Joely boy/He is his mommy's pride and joy/I love my little Owen/Joely boy." Then, I squeeze them twice. My mother sang this song to me, except she didn't call me a boy.
That would just be weird.
***
Owen also expressed himself musically this morning, singing, "Happy Merry Valentines Day!" Then, he complemented himself, "That's a great song, Owen!"
Indeed it is, Buddy.
Happy Friday, everybody!
29 comments:
u r 2 funny!
Im LMAO..cuz i just didnt picture you saying turd or stealthy ninja shitz...but you are so adorable...you could say antything..its just funny..ya know when sometimes someone says somthing and you just werent expecting it.well thats what I mean..so anyway..I agree with that..they come do their dirty work and leave no evidence..Holy shit..toooo funny..! you are a riot..!
Here's to home, braless and Friday!
If I had some of that special grape juice, I'd offer up a toast.
That's picture I will take to my grave. Thanks :/
I'm going to toast you, too, tonight. Finally! An excuse to drink.
Bring on Mommy's Special grape juice!
Man Im jealous..I wish I could go braless..however my freaking mud flaps would be swooshing all over the place.
you're the best you know that?
As always a wonderful post! :)
Does Special Grape Juice complement Nyquil?
Ninja Shit - hahahahhaaaa!
Special grape juice will be in my glass tonight!
I think I need to add lipstick to my daily routine... Ward would get a good chuckle out of seeing me with my hair still sticking up, still in my yoga pants & sweatshirt wearing lipstick. Gonna give that one a try!!
OMG you crack me up!! I love you are bra less but sporting makeup. Love your son happy valentine song...so cute! Have a wonderful weekend!!
Sweetness.
Haha. Loved it. Sounds like your boys keep things fun and interesting at your house!
First time reader, and OMG am I laughing my ass off!
Thanks!
You just never cease to amuse me!
I don't know if it's my limited attention span, or my ability to understand gross humor, along with silly little stories.....but Fragmented Friday's are my favorite. Thanks for posting!
Did you read Daffy's TMI about mooning her husband? Your first fragment reminded me of it.
I love what a problem-solver Owen is...corkscrew is an ingenious way to shred cheese!
I haven't left my house in weeks except for doctor's appointments. I'm so ready to get out....may need to go buy cigarettes even though I don't smoke. That's what mom did when she'd been home too long with us.
I stay braless all the time unless I have to leave the house and mainly times a tank top with a little support is my bra of choice.
I already left the house once today and it amazes me that people who were raised in Minnesnowda DO NOT know how to drive and so a bunch of accidents. Glad I am from LA.
I sing to my daughter every night even though she seems annoyed by it now that she is growing up = ) Dang kids, why do they grow up??
May
Special grape juice for the win!
I love making up little songs for Boy. I love that you remember what your mom made up for you.
Ninja shits . . . that is the funniest thing that I have read in a while!
I love how this post had a little bit of everything in it--a little poo, a little song, a little special grape juice...So funny.
So glad I'm not the only one who thinks getting earwax out is so so satisfying!
You are flippin' hilarious!
LOL. T'was TMI to be sure. haha.
Best fragmented friday ever. :)
Well,lipstick is certainly a sign of a Classy Lady...even one with Ninja Shits!
Ninja shits!? Do they still stink or are they odorless too?
I knew you could get away with anything after the Snuggie picture. This is seriously funny :)
I share your passion for baby earwax.
This just made me chuckle from beginning to end.
Shredded cheese in the am?! OOO was he going to make some yummy omelet? I'll be right over!
I am laughing SOOOOOO hard I think I just woke up the baby. I am your newest and happiest lil follower ha ha. I hope that you will come by and follow back. Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog
I swear you live in my closet. ;) My boys have done the shredded cheese trick, but have also done it with an entire Costco sized bag of granola. In bed. ;)
My blog reader needs to visit the ENT for a cleaning apparently. It's stuffed full.
Special grape juice. Note to self: hit the liquor store tomorrow afternoon or tomorrow night may get ugly. LOL
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