1. On Monday, I was at the gym, pounding away on the treadmill. One of the trainers, who happens to be my neighbor, came up to me as I was running, and asked me if I wanted to watch his child three days a week.
This is the most he has ever spoken to me. Ever. He's my neighbor, yes, but his family has always been standoffish.
Perhaps because I couldn't stop blinking in shock, he added, "I mean, you're a stay-at-home, mom, right?"
Ah. You see, that explains it. Stay-at-home-mom=perfect daycare.
Clearly, I've kept the windows closed so he couldn't hear the screaming.
I'm going to say no, because I can barely be responsible for my own spawn.
I also need to stay out of the house, before another neighbor asks me if I would be interested in trimming his hedges or cleaning out his septic tank. I mean, I'm home, after all.
2. I need to go the library and return our borrowed copy of The Polar Express. It is far more terrifying than any Halloween flick.
It has led to my son's fascination with all things hobo---he wants to know about hobo fires, hobo clothes, hobo sticks.
If I want him to meet a hobo, I can always introduce him to Starbucks Bill, our local homeless gentlemen. My friend recently bought him a crossiant, a latte, and a newspaper. He thanked her and asked her where she was going.
"Work," she replied.
"Work?" he scoffed. "I haven't worked for twenty years."
He then asked her to get her real sugar instead of artificial sweetener.
There just may be something to the hobo life.
3. I need to finish off the Halloween costumes. We're going with a Curious George theme. Joel will be George. Obvious choice.
Owen is going to be the doorman.
4. I must leave the house because in a fit of generosity, I let Owen paint my toes and fingernails. I looked like a serial killer drag queen when he was done. Naturally, I'm out of polish remover.
5. Finally, I must leave the house because well, I'm just too awesome to keep within four walls.