1. People will comment if you write about your vagina.
2. People will comment if you write about embarrassing crushes. (Especially if you admit your
3. People love to share their opinions about painting and home repair in general.
In light of this, I thought I would tell of the time my vagina repainted my master bedroom under the watchful gaze of a post-coital Michael Cera:
I find this guy nerdy-hot, and even I find that mental image shudderific.
(Although I do wonder how a vagina would paint a bedroom. My guess is badly.)
This incredibly long buildup is to let the one reader who might care about such things know that I've finally completed the home repair project I blogged about on March 23, 2010.
The room used to look like this:
I'm not sure what was most offensive about this room....the One Day at a Time inspired comforter, the 80s-fabulous lamp, or the lovely bullfighting picture. Let's not forget the CORAL paint sample on my wall.
There may be additional reasons why we don't have a third child. This is not a room conducive to sexy time.
This paint sample and all the related ugly-ocity remained festering in my room until Tuesday. We bought a duvet cover, painted the room, and now retire to this:
It is still a work in progress. The lamp is too big for the corner bookcase, and I'm not sure that the curtain will stay. But now, at least, I don't feel like I'm living in a set from Boogie Nights.
Since I'm totally getting my Martha Stewart on, let me tell you about my other attempt at houseness.
My kids and I go on lots of walks. During these walks, Owen collects rocks, leaves, and other organic materials and takes it home for his "treasure box." We now have three of them:
These are the three vases from the three bouquets of flowers I have been given
in my entire life recently.
The far left holds bits of coral found along the banks of the Chesapeake. The far right holds various treasures, including rocks, Sweet Gum Balls, shells, rocks, and rocks. I plan on using it to maim any midnight intruders. The one in the middle contains the acorns found on my front steps.
These three treasure boxes remind me that it doesn't take much to find wonder and beauty in this world. It doesn't take too much to make your kid happy. It isn't that hard to make things pretty.
That is, unless, you're picking up the acorns with your vagina. That's a whole other story.