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Friday, October 21, 2011

My Stephen

His fingernails, still etched with blue-dough. His chubby hand stiffened, then collapsed. The earth groaned and swallowed my Stephen away.

This week, we invited you to compose a text–160 characters–that would either elicit or express fear.


31 comments:

Roxanne said...

That leaves me breathless.

True, fear.

Great job.

Karen said...

Ack! I came by way of your #writeonedge tweet and due to yesterday's earthquake inspiration and your words here, you had me firmly planted in reality. Then the ground ate Stephen and I momentarily, internally freaked! Then, I remembered that it was only a 4.0 and reality's children are just fine. Phew! Great one! :>

Kristina said...

Oh, this is so sad. And absolutely terrifying. Good job.

Barbara @ de rebus said...

Ooo... lots of interesting thoughts here - image of the earth swallowing a child: chilling!

CDG said...

Oh... no...

Always the ones with kids hit the hardest!

Kelly said...

"His chubby hand stiffened". This is horrifying. I always had dreams like this when my kids were little.

Carrie said...

these few words leave you absolutely terrified. It's the kid factor. Always gets you

Pamela Gold said...

This makes me need a hug.

Karen Peterson said...

This is so sad and terrifying. I can't imagine!

Formerly known as Frau said...

Great job....I can feel the fear..

Have a wonderful weekend!

noisycolorfullively said...

I am particularly drawn to the play-dough under his nails. That imagine would be etched forever... heart stopping. And beautiful. And sad.

My favorite writings ever are flash fictions. This kind of viscerality is why.

Renee said...

Eeee! Stomach twisting.
Yeah, ok. You so got the fear.

Kir said...

I was laughing with my coworker as I clicked your link...and now it "DIED" in my throat.

Wow, you blew me away.

Venus said...

Wow! You are so much braver than me... I couldn't bear to write something that would truly truly scare me, like losing my child (or any child). Good for you for going there! Very scary indeed.

Nicole Rivera said...

Oh I don't like this one bit. Which means, of course, you did an amazing job. It's just so painful and scary because we are helpless as the scene unfolds.

Jackie said...

Anything with children is scary. I can't stand the thought of losing on my kids.

Melanie said...

Oh, wow, wow!! That is true fear. I'm shaking a little - seriously (being a Mom of sons). Never want to experience this. Excellent job!

John said...

Ack! No fair using kids! That's actually scary!

angela said...

There's a lump in my throat.

I have no words, which means this is perfect. I shudder and had to squeeze my eyes when I imagined it.

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

Incredible! The impact of this was amazing.

Ash said...

I'm with Noisy, the play-dough kills me. A minute detail that every parent may conjure. True terror.

Nice.

Galit Breen said...

Oh my heart, ouch.

I love (and hate) the play doh detail- so close to home.

Wahzat Gayle said...

I am freaking out with this one. WOW

Author Mary J. McCoy-Dressel said...

Now that's spooky when your child is involved. It sure matches your header photo. Chills. (Thank you for stopping by by blog)

Unknown Mami said...

Terrifying.

julie moore said...

I hate this but love it too. The rest of story...

MISH said...

This is unthinkable... the images are frightening and vivid...

Joanna Jenkins said...

Yep, definitely fear.
Wow,
jj

Julie said...

I love that the earth groaned...

as if even the dirt were protesting the loss.

tsonodablog said...

Intensity in a small package. WOW
That'll stick with me for awhile.

*LLUVIA* said...

EEekk! Such a small piece, yet, so scary!!

Well done!