Each morning, while the rest of the world orders their
lattes and updates their status reports, my mother returns to the womb.
She tucks her hair into a ponytail, and scrubs her hands
until they tingle. Next, she rubs in the sanitizer, feeling the burn in each
parched cuticle. The latex gloves seal
the remaining world off with a single, practiced snap.
The doors whish; she enters. Pressing her face against each artificial womb, she greets the babies by name.
Keston. 29 weeks, 2 pounds. Intubated. Miranda. Group B Septis. Gregory. The surviving twin.
She holds their translucent, paper-thin fingers, and speaks of moon bounces, sunsets, and peppermint ice cream.
As she exits the hospital, she whispers each name, so
the stars will hear them, and know that they were real.
25 comments:
I love the line about what she talks to the babies about. I like that her mother is a caretaker, a protector.
I liked the ending line. And I like that so much about Janie's mom tells us a bit more about her. :>
She is an angel.....so beautiful!
"Moon beams" one of my favorite expressions.
I was right back in the NICU with all those amazing nurses around me, smiling, guiding, encouraging LIFE.
I like knowing her mother more...she cares for those babies. Does Janie feel good about that or her love of them and her distraction from her own daughter? I wonder........
it's going to be quite a story.
What a special role... and what a blessing... to be connected to the beginning of life and watch it grow and blossom...
Lovely piece, reminds me of the story of how they found out how to make the premies thrive. :)
Absolutely crying right now reading that. You just shared so much beauty in very few words.
Heartbreaking and beautiful. Your moment gave me chills. You've made it impossible to forget those three names, Keston, Miranda, Gregory.
Dammit, Nancy. Making me cry in my peanut butter sandwich is NOT cool.
she whispers each name, so the stars will hear them, and know that they were real.
that line was beautiful!
Oh wow, I really love this. At first I thought the character's mom had OCD, but then it became clear that she's a nurse/doctor/assistant. I LOVE the description of what she talks about with the babies. Great job!
I absolutely love the conclusion - the image of your character's mother returning to the womb to care for babies in a futuristic NICU is awesome. I particularly love the way the professional aspects of her job, like scrubbing up to avoid spreading infection and the details of each child's illness, contrast with her whispering their names to the stars. And that last sentence gave me shivers.
This pregnant lady started crying after "Gregory." Lovely but oh so sad.
This says so much about Janie's mother. Her emotion with the babies can be felt. Well done.
My heart... it is warmed and breaks all at once. Your words brought me in, made me almost cry and then relief and morning loss. Beautiful!
My strong, brilliant, gorgeous 16-year-old niece was once one of those babies. Born 2 lbs, 2oz at 27 weeks. I'm in tears. This was so lovely.
This hit just a little bit too close to my heart, so I am crying now, but I loved the last line.
Wo1! The last line really got me -- "So the stars will hear them and know that they were real". My heart stopped on that one.
Traci
Oh that last line. It's perfect. Heart breaking, but perfect.
This is a perfect example of character reveal to push the story forward. Hat tip, girl!
As a writer, I salute the (intentional or unintentional) sibilance in this piece...the repetition of the S sound is soothing, magical, onomatopoeic to the subject matter -
As a reader, I simply surrender to the beauty of the words and the hopefulness. No reasons necessary.
It just feels right.
This is gorgeous. "and know that they were real" is a line that I think will stick with me for some time.
I'm so stinking proud of you I could burst.
Love it. Can't wait to read the whole thing.
I've had two nephews who have been those babies so this really hits home for me. They are success stories, but I know not all are and so my heart breaks a little.
That last line. Wow.
Love this! Is this what I've been missing in my online absence! Shame on me!
I can picture Owen's doctors and nurses, whispering the names of their patients.... and I know that the stars were listening.
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