1. Owen's says to his grandfather, as Rich walks into the house: "Hi Grandpa! Grandpa, this is Mommy. Mommy, this is Grandpa." Thank God he finally introduced me to that guy. I had been wondering, "Who the hell this man, and why is he in my house?"
2. Yes, this is mushy, but mothers get to be mushy. I was tucking Owen in last night. He kisses my forehead and says, "Mommy, you're my best friend." Those of you reading on the West Coast--it wasn't an earthquake, just me, swooning.
3. Owen has taken a new formality with us. Whenever he does not want to do something, he ends his sentences with "sir," as in "I don't like green beans, sir." Yes, we live south of the Mason-Dixon line, and custom encourages the use of "sir" and "ma'am." However, I don't think Owen has it down yet.
Things I didn't expect to say in this lifetime:
1. "Owen, please stop standing on the waffle iron."
2. "We're not going to buy a recycling center today."
3. "As soon as you get in the bath, you can see Mommy's dried blood."
1. I gave blood yesterday. While the technician was typing my information into his computer, he asked me if I was a nurse, because it looked like I was wearing scrubs in my license picture. I was actually wearing a v-neck tee shirt, but that's not the point. I considered saying, "Yes," just because it would be fun to pretend to be a nurse for a few minutes. This guy wouldn't know the difference, and I have plenty of respect for nurses.
I started to make up a story in my head. I would tell him that I worked in orthopedics for a few years, but I now work at a dialysis center on weekends for extra money. I would complain about the long hours and talk about how I considered being a nurse practitioner. I had this whole story worked out.
Then, I chickened out. Since I was talking to an actual medical person, all he would have to do is say one bit of medical jargon to expose my web of bullshit.
For now, Nancy Campbell, R.N., will remain a figment of my imagination. This is probably a very good thing.
2. I was holding Joel, and I thought to myself, "He's an actual person, with itty-bitty lungs, and a teeny-tiny heart. He has all these complicated systems working perfectly in that little body." I'm not sure why this idea surprised me. I mean, I know he's not a doll....
3. I bought new glasses today, and I thought, "It would be fun to wear these to the library." Why? Do I wear a "smart costume" for certain occasions? Truly, I have moments of breathtaking dumbness. Even when I'm wearing my glasses.