Thursday, June 23, 2011

Red Writing Hood: Seeking Andromeda

This week's Red Writing Hood throw-down was to write a piece of Flash Fiction on the theme of "Life." We were given 300 words. Since I often write about that much, I'm going to try to make my story 100 words. This is another story about Rachel, from last week's prompt.

Seeking Andromeda 

Rachel sat, planted on the grass. The hills melted into each other, as the sky puddled to dusk.

The music lifted, hushing the crowd.

Could I have been?/A parking lot attendant/Could I have been?/A millionaire in Bel Air? 

It washed over her, as it always did. Leaning back, she closed her eyes.

Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes/But I’ll work it out/Then I look up at the sky.

She scanned the horizon, seeking Andromeda. The Greek princess, now suspended in the sky for eternity. Her name meant “She who has bravery in her mind.”

Falling out of a world of lies…Could I have been anyone other than me? 

She smiled to herself, and whispered, "Yes." 

Okay, a little over 100 words....All lyrics courtesy of the The Dave Matthews Band


tulpen said...

Nicely done.

And thanks for telling me it was DMB. Lyrics were so familiar and would have driven me batty trying to figure it out.

Galit Breen said...

Nancy! 100 words *and* a song woven through. you? Are a genius!

DMB is a perfect choice and for the record: Yes. Yes, she *could* have been! XO

livingsj77 said...

This is the first time I'm visiting your blog...but you got me...LOVE me some Dave and LOVE this song. This character could have been me at a show years ago. Beautiful.

Erin said...

Powerful in its brevity. Love you challenging/stretching yourself w/ 100 words. I never could have pulled this off. Now I need to catch up on last week's post...

Tremendous job. And I love DMB, too. Le sigh. Miss you!

Mel said...

Very well done, and the song name made me smile. I agree, Yes.

CDG said...

Oh, that song takes me right back to laying on a hillside in Vermont, nothing more important than a passage of Baudelaire to translate and an upcoming advisor meeting, listening to that very song pour of a dorm window above me.

Like your piece, that time was gone too quickly.

Anonymous said...

Perfection! I love that you used that song. You brought me right back to sitting on a lawn and listening to them, watching the sky and just feeling good.
visiting from TRDC :)

Anonymous said...

This is awesome! HUGE DMB fan... love how you really captured how relaxed and wonderful his music makes you feel.
Great job! Off to read more!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Great piece! I will forever be impressed you targeted 100 words! I really like the last 2 lines.

Kristy said...

Full of hope!

Jackie said...

100 words! That is amazing! To be able to create the imagery & emotion in such a short piece is really a talent.

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

LOVED this! Love Dancing Nancies :) I've had the same thoughts as your character while listening to that song. I wrote a piece on a DMB song last week...definitely an inspiring band.

Great job!

Stopping by from TRDC.

Kir said...

100 words? Wow, you just raise the bar every week. This was so good, so simple and yet so tight, so descriptive. Thank goodness for your words and talent!

Anonymous said...

You are freaking amazing. I can't write my name in less than a hundred words.


Awesome rendering of the prompt, too!

Cheryl said...

Great idea, using the song. And I love how you captured how lyrics can make us really feel.

Alex said...

"She who has bravery in her mind" and then the character saying to herself "Yes" was very powerful.

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From Tracie said...

I love how you weaved in the lyrics.

I need to work on less words....reading something like this with a low word count that is so complete encourages me that it is possible!

Cat said...

Lovely, as always. I can picture her...