Tuesday, January 11, 2011

By the Numbers

Today is a glorious day. 1-11-11. The symmetry makes me squeal with delight. I thought it would be appropriate to re-post this oldie from the Nobody-Read-The-Blog-Archives. Please enjoy. 


Numbers are not my thing. Every time I bake, I have to ask Paul if 1/3 plus 1/3 equals 2/3.

He'll shake his head and say, "Were you adding the denominators again?"

I'll pretend to be very interested in the counter top, and squeak out an embarrassed, "Uh-huh." In my head, it makes sense every time. 1/3 + 1/3 equals 2/6, which rounds down to 1/2!

This is my secret shame, so secret that I am posting it on the Internet for mocking purposes.

While my practical applications of numbers are...lacking, I enjoy numbers as a concept. Like my grandmother, I get very excited when the digital clock reads certain things, such as 3:33. Ah, the symmetry! I also enjoy 1:23, because it is chronological. Ditto 4:56.

I find Paul's birthday 1-7-74 troubling because that 4 ruins the whole thing, being the only even number in a sea of odds. Mine--3-5-75--is much better. My brother's is also okay: 10-20-76, for everything in his birth date is divisible by two.

Both of my sons have messes of birth dates: 2-21-06 for Owen and 7-29-08 for Joel.

The only redeemable aspect of Owen's birthday (besides the fact that it is his birthday and I love him, blah blah blah...) is that 21 has always been a very good number for me. Just typing it is very satisfying.

Joel's birthday was a missed opportunity. I was so tired of being pregnant that I was induced. Meaning: if I had allowed nature to take its course, I could have had a cooler date for my second born.

He was supposed to be born in early August, which was very exciting, because it was possible that his birthday would have been 8-8-08. The very idea! Think of all the times I could have written that blissful little number on medical forms! 

Alas, my aching back and surly temperament were stronger than my nerdy inclinations, and I jumped at the induction date. My only consolation is that 29 is a prime number.

However, I don't understand the whole concept of prime numbers, so this is an empty victory.

One more number story: we just bought new telephones, because our old phones were tools of the devil--cutting out, beeping loudly, going on mute for no logical reason. The other day, I was dialing a number to check my voice mail. Suddenly, the phone decided to beep loudly while the number 6 filled the entire screen. As in 666666666666666666666666. As in MARK OF THE BEAST. As in the film Maximum Overdrive, where all the household appliances become evil, slicing and dicing their hapless owners.

It didn't matter what I did. All I could do was stare at my demonic telephone, waiting for the sky to turn black and for the Four Horsemen to come tearing from the sky. It was quite chilling.

But then, I unplugged the phone and replugged it, thus performing a do-it-yourself exorcism. All was fine.

But, in the short moment, when my blood turned to ice water, and I was pondering my haunted phone, I couldn't help but note that 666 is divisible by both 2 and 3, and it is very pleasing, indeed.

So tell any of you share my bizarre affinity for numbers?


June said...

I know it's scary but you, my dear, are not alone...

Wedding dates, birth dates, special occasions, they all get my attention.
See, I have this thing for "even" numbers. Always have.

And then I go and dub my life charmed by "3" - go figure.
Example: my wedding date was 8/22/2003
We were married on a Friday because I wanted an even number.
And once again, charmed by 3.

You will still find me planning special dates on even numbers if possible.
See, you are not alone in this little number game.
Now don't you feel special??

Ratz said...

I have never heeded that much to numbers. They have always made me either burst with hysteria or think of a suicide! So, no!

Ms. Moon said...

For awhile it seemed like the number 333 was hitting me everywhere. My change would be three dollars and thirty-three cents. Every time I woke up and looked at the clock I discovered it was 3:33.
Then I found out that my dear friend Billy was born at 3:33 a.m. I told him about that number constantly popping up in my life. He said, "That's just me, giving you a shout-out."
Made me feel so much better.

Alisha Jaybird said...

LOL! I love that 666 is divisible by 2 and 3. I had a call at work the other day that went really south, and when it finished up, I noticed the last 3 of the acct. number were 666. I slapped myself in the forehead and said I should have known.

I love 12:34. It only happens twice a day and it's seems magical. OH and my son, Smee, is only a couple of weeks older than Owen! Smee's DOB was 2-6-06. We almost have little twinkies!

Aunt of 14 said...

I cannot add up measurements AT ALL. I always have to ask my mother for clarification. If she is not around... I'll do it the long way. It asked for 1/3 cups and I wanted to double the recipe? I'll just do 1/3 cups two times.

sommmmmmetimes that works out really good.

Erin said...

You are so dang cute.

My bday is 8/30/76. Does that do anything for you? THe closest thing I can get is my BFF, whose twins' bday is 2/3/06. 2 x 3 = 6. is that cool enough for you?

You are funny. I love it. You should check out Empress' post today and submit this one to Funny Not Slutty. Seriously.

Veronica said...

Numbers drive me nuts only because math is my kryptonite.

My daughter is 8/8/01, so ruined by the odd number.
My son is 6/6/08, not bad.
I'm 5/25/80, all divisible by 5.. right? Just kidding I'm not that bad at math!

Unknown Mami said...

OMG! You could start your own phone exorcism business.

Snuggle Wasteland said...

I have an odd amnesia for certain numbers. For example, I never can remember if my mother's birthday is 9/9/37 or 9/6/37. In fact, I think it's 9/3/37 but I don't dare risk her anger by asking again.

clearness said...

Anytime the clock displays anything that is a birthday (month/date) then I get all excited. Or if it displays the area code or prefix of a telephone number or the house number of a family or friend.....

I am terrible at math so while I can do the 1/3 plus 1/3 thing....I can't do much else.

Michele R said...

The scary thing is how early they are teaching math--soon I'll be asking my 4th grader about fractions (I just picture a pie so the 1/3 and 1/3 is ok so far for me.
I have a friend since 7th grade and we love dates. have called each other for years on those days--back as far as 7/7/77 when we'd be together to 8/8/88, 10/10/10, etc., etc. and 1/11/11 today.

LB said...

Not so much numbers, but definitely symmetry. It is an ABSOLUTE must. Uneven gets me out of sorts.

I'm more of a vocabulary girl. Kinda ironic seeing as I teach math, huh? Anyway, I love words (or hate them).

mama-face said...

yes and no. I agree with LB. I am OCD about symmetry. I just about drove the builder of our new house CRAZY... but I feel so comfortable here. You should stop by and see what I'm talking about.

I love you! although I could be your significantly OLDER sister. I think you'd like my bday numbers. 2462. My first two children were born respectively 9/9 and 5/5. My dr told me that with my next daughter he'd induce me on 7/7; but it didn't work out. Practically ruined my life. jk. My youngest is 01/23/01. You gotta love that.

TMI? happy 1.11.11!

tsonodablog said...

Not so much Nancy. But my favorite number is 6 if that bears any importance at all in this discussion. Ok maybe not. But I do like 6. Not because I'm a demon (I'm just a little devil) but because my birthday is on the 6th. REAL interesting, huh? I've been studying all day, and I am slaphappy, so please forgive my silliness.
Fun post!
Number-challenged, but my son is a math teacher. Is he really MY son?

only a movie said...

I love when numbers line up. 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, etc. Even a bout of early morning insomnia is ok with me if it starts at 4:44. So today was a good day for me that way.

My sister was born on 7/7/70. She weighed 7 lbs 7 oz. I may have posted that on the first time you ran this one...

(Florida) Girl said...

I featured you on my "Tell Me the Truth" segment today, because you rock.

Maggie May said...

numbers are definitely not my friend!

Minivan Lover said...

Numbers are the enemy. When I bake and need to double 1/3, I just measure 1/3 twice. Fractions are the devil.

From Tracie said...

I'm not good with numbers or dates or things that involve numbers.

I do like 5 and 9. I put things in groups and count things involving five and nine. I may also have OCD.

The worst form of a number is a fraction. Or a letter, like in Algebra and Geometry. It makes me mad that math takes something that I love (letters) and taints it by turning it into a number.

Shell said...

I like when dates are all nice and neat.

My husband proposed to me on 6/4/02, though I usually say it oh-6-oh-4-oh-2.

My middle's birthday drives me crazy b/c it is 5/7/06. I always want to say 5/6/07.

Cat said...

I bet you were having a nerdgasm on 1/11/11. As was I... I was really close to eloping on 12/11/10 just for the anniversary LOL