Try to Keep Up

Some Background: Paul and Owen are in Virginia, because Paul needed to change the brake pads on the Outback and his dad has a garage, while we merely have a gravel driveway. Owen loves to watch Paul work on the car, so off they went. They got a late start, so they decided to spend the night there. Since Paul's parents recently got over a nasty cold, I decided to stay behind with Joel and his developing immune system.

Joel woke up around 3:30, which meant we had until 6:30 to do something fun---Mommy and Son, exploring the big, big world. What could we do? We already went on a walk, the pantry was stocked, and his playground options are pretty limited at this point. It hit me like a bolt of lightening (more on that, later): The Farmer's Market! Produce, dogs, the beach, people...what's not to love? Of course, the nearest farmer's market is a thirty minute drive from my house. But...it would be worth it to do something special, just the two of us.

I went online to see when the Farmer's Market started. 6:00 PM. Damn #1.

"Screw the schedule," I thought to myself, "The man and his clock is always putting me down. Joel will just deal."

Then, I realized that the stroller, the backpack, and the Baby Bjorn were all in the Outback, which was, at that moment, in Virginia, minus its brake pads. So,I would have to drive thirty minutes out of my way (driving past at least THREE roadside produce stands). Then, I would then have to CARRY all 22 pounds of Joel up and down the boardwalk while juggling my wallet and keys, plus bags of my luscious produce bounty and homemade goat cheese.

So...Damn #2.

Then, as if God was trying to send me a message, the heavens opened up, rumbled, and poured down rain. Soon, Joel and I were standing by the window, watching a thunderstorm of epic proportions.

Damn #3.

So, suffice to say, our Mommy and Son outing involved reading stories and stacking blocks on our living room floor, until I put him to bed at 6:30.

The rest of my evening included the following exciting activities:

1. I went online and told the Facebook universe that Owen had found a five dollar gift card in his Cheerios box. My public needs to know these things.

2. I looked at a friend's pictures of a family outing to see the movie Up! and then lunch to Chuckie Cheese. Was envious.

3. Decided to thwart said envy by accomplishing something, so I halfheartedly worked on continuing education credits to keep my teaching credential.

4. Five minutes later, I was back on Facebook. Nothing new had happened in five minutes.

5. I went to the blog, and saw that there were no new comments on any postings. Sighed dramatically.

6. Checked email. Got a message from a magazine that said, basically, that I would hear from them regarding an article I submitted for publication in SEPTEMBER. Sighed even more dramatically.

7. Went to Amalah.com (a professional, honest-to-God, money-making mommyblogger) and realized that there are some incredibly talented writers out there. Considered sighing yet more dramatically, but feared doing damage to my lungs.

8. All this sighing makes one hungry, so I sat down for a single girl's dinner of Twizzlers and cheese.

9. Turned on the TV. Watched What Not to Wear. Clinton and Stacy decided to give the girl who starred in Blossom a makeover. Since Blossom went off the air, the actress had earned her PhD in NEUROSCIENCE and had two kids. She also decided to dress like an Orthodox Jewish Hippie. As usual, she was encouraged to wear blazers and high heeled shoes with a box toe. She looked cute.

I wasn't a big fan of Blossom, but I'll always connect the show to my first date with Paul. We were at some forgettable sports bar, and an incredibly drunk woman kept slurring that Paul looked, "Just like the brother on Blossom."

No, not Joey Lawrence. The other brother. You be the judge:



10. After all that excitement, I decided to go to bed. I read an amazing collection of short stories called Tunneling to the Center of the Earth by Kevin Wilson and swooned.

Then, I closed the chapter on this exciting, exciting evening. I know you wish you were me.