Mohrmanisms

Here's the part of the phone call I hate: "So, what are you up to?"

I have absolutely nothing to say. No-thing.

As a person who considers herself reasonably creative, and who manages to find something to write about almost every day, I don't know WHY it is so hard to chit-chat on the phone.

This is why I enjoy having friends with eventful lives. I can always count on a story about a crazed in-law or an insane boss to distract me from my day-to-day goings-on. I like listening to my friends, encouraging them when they are frustrated, angry or just needing to vent. I think that I'm a decent listener in that regard.

But, I hate it when the tables are turned and the friends ask me about my life. I have a hard time thinking of anything worthwhile to share that I haven't already said a million times. Report on Joel's sleeping habits? Discuss my writing career that isn't a career? Explain how Owen really, really likes to play with water in the kitchen sink?

My life is more C-SPAN than The Hills. I'm not a Real Housewife, I'm a real housewife. While I enjoy being an even-keeled person, I occasionally wish that I had some drama to liven up my end of the phone.

Instead, I find myself sharing odd tidbits with people, such as "Do you know that you can get a prescription to get longer eyelashes?" Or, "I cannot stop watching that Intel commercial where the guy who invented the USB port is treated like a rock star." Sometimes, people go with it. Sometimes, people wonder what planet I'm from.

A group of friends from AZ even coined a term for my random thoughts, "Mohrmanisms" (Mohrman is my maiden name). It came about on a trip to San Diego. We were an hour into the six-hour drive, and I mused, "Wouldn't it be great, if teleporters from Star Trek really existed?" I thought that the context was there--we were in a car in the godforsaken desert, and a teleporter would be nice.

They studied me like my dog used to study turtles (with great curiosity), and laughed until they cried.

It made sense to me. Apparently, it was a bit random for them.

Perhaps this is why I am so attracted to status updates and and playing around with Twitter. I like to determine the perfect, random thought, and broadcast it to the world. I may not have a lot of drama in my life, but I'll always have a Mohrmanism handy to perplex and possibly, to entertain.