Oblivious

I'm so lucky that I am oblivious to most insults.

Today, I was at lunch with two friends following Pilates. One friend was having a hard time with her future sister-in-law. I won't share her story, because it's not mine to tell, except that her SIL's condition rhymes with Slidezilla and involves the expectation of handouts.

I share this because I had recently been to lunch at the same restaurant with the same friends, with the addition of the dreaded future sister-in-law. Apparently, she had called me "old" to my face.

It didn't even register. This happens more often than it should. Backhanded insults or attempts at sarcasm barely register with me. I'm just too clueless.

For example, when somebody says, "Nice shoes," or "Nice outfit," I assume that he or she truly thinks my purple Crocs or ankle length skirt is cute.

When somebody says, "You look really good, for having just had a baby," I'll say "Thank You," and forget the second half of the statement.

One time, somebody said, "I wish that I could never do my hair, like you."

"Yeah, it's nice, thanks," I replied.

I'm not an idiot. I know sometimes that people are trying to be nasty. I just don't have time for that kind of stuff.

This talent worked especially well in middle school. The girls, especially, when trying to gain power or just throw some anger my way, would attempt some "subtle" insults:

"You hair doesn't naturally come like that, does it?"

"You really think you're funny, don't you?"

"You have friends?"

And my personal favorite, "Have you ever had, like, a boyfriend, or a life, or anything?"

Most insults don't matter to me because they were done either so crudely (see: middle school girls) or they were too subtle for me to notice (see: most other people).

Now...a real hurt or transgression to a real friend...that will tear me up. But the stupid stuff by trifling people...there's just not enough time in the day for that.