Friday, November 6, 2009

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?

After a two week hiatus, I am once again joining the Friday Fragments party. Thanks to Mrs. 4444 for hosting this weekly collection of random thoughts. 

I've decided that I am going to wear a stocking hat when I don't feel like doing my hair. In other words, EVERY DAY. The look I'm going for is hippie-starving artist. Unfortunately, the reality may be more along the lines of the Beastie Boys, circa 1991.

Since everybody is all, "Swine Flu! Swine Flu! OMFG Swine Flu!" I now have my home hand sanitizer and my car hand sanitizer. Since the boys are sick, I'm wiping noses, and rubbing my hands with 60% alcohol goodness.My life has become an unholy union of Silkwood and As Good as it Gets.

Consequently, my hands have the consistency of industrial strength sandpaper.

My cousin David, who lives in Chicago, introduced me to this: Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream.

 (I am the answer to all your problems. Worship me!)

I promise you that I'm getting no kickbacks from the Neutrogena folks, because that would involve an audience beyond my Mom (Hi, Mom!) Rather, I offer this to you as a simple public service: this lotion can kick your lotion's ass. Just a little dab, and my hands are as soft and supple as a Snuggie wrapped in bacon grease.

Owen and I went to the library last night and found this book: Hogwash, by Arthur Geisert

The alternative title of this book could be: "Holy Shitballs! PIGS & SILLY MACHINES!"

Owen really, really, really likes this book. It has no words, just a bizarre story involving a creepy pig-industrial complex where young piglets are washed in an elaborate Rube Goldberg cleaning machine. It involves water, lots of tubing, and machinery. Owen cannot get enough of it.

He woke up at the ungodly hour of FIVE AM to use the restroom. Then, he flipped on the light and read this book for an hour. We found him slumped over it, asleep. The lights were blaring, and he was drooling on this, his most sacred of texts.

If any grandparents or other family members are looking for the perfect Christmas gift, This just might be your page.

Speaking of books, I just read that Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, author of Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay, and Naptime is the New Happy Hour, has decided to stop drinking. I guess this means that there is a gaping hole in the Mothers-Who-Drink nonfiction genre. Hmmmmmm...

I am editing a friend's dissertation, and I find myself writing margin notes like, "Refer to additional studies regarding collective and individual self-efficacy from Bandura." I then step back and think, "How do I know this stuff? When was I ever smart?"

I feel the same way whenever I read old papers from college and graduate school. I once knew enough about Plato to write a ten page paper? Where did it all go?

Enough Friday Fragging for now! Happy Weekend, everybody!


Stephanie said...

Thinking of volunteering to fill the gap created in the mothers who drink non fiction world. I'm liking this thought. It means I'm going to have to start drinking more. And writing more. Hm.

Kara @ His, Hers and Ours said...

That lotion does kick ass!! My parent's have been using it (and I'm hoping its for the same reason as you...for soft, subtle hands...I digress) since I was a little kid. My siblings and I were taught to never, ever to touch it, as it is apparently made out of gold. They had to be the ones to put a pin drop in our hands to use.

I'm here to be a volunteer too!!

Happy Friday!

Corrie Howe said...

I have the same feeling...I used to be smart.

Unknown Mami said...

Excellent fragments!

The sanitizer is making my hands crack like crazy. Will try the lotion.

The image of a child slumped over that book sleeping is awesome.

I know, I read paper I wrote and think, "Who the hell did I pay to write this and why are they so much smarter than me?"

Smellyann said...

Oof. I completely understand the last frags about "when was I smart?" It's kind of depressing sometimes!

Funny stuff. You made me laugh! :D

thatgirlblogs said...

happy to fill the moms who drink opening, thanks for the heads up!

Carolee / Home4ever said...

Oh my gosh, we are so alike! I have been wearing a ball cap around for weeks because I just don't have time to get my hair cut & dyed!

I started home schooling my daughter this year and it constantly amazes me how much I know but forgot I knew. What amazes me even more is stuff I don't remember learning at all!

Thanks for visitng my blog!

mub said...

I'm all for wearing hats when you don't feel like doing your hair!

Mrs4444 said...

You're funny. Loved your pondering where all that info went. My son is reading/writing about Shakespeare, and I have to wonder if I ever studied that crap in school? If so, I feel ashamed, cuz I remember ZERO about it.

I love that your little boy woke up and grabbed that book. What a cutie. Just might use that fragment in my favorites this week...

I wish we could wear hats in school...

Thanks for the hand lotion tip. I have heard that before but have never seen it in the store. Maybe I should open my eyes?!

Thanks for playing this week :)