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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Wal-Mart--Selling your Soul at Discount Prices!

Dear Super Wal-Mart,

I know that you are too easy of a target.

I take that back. I could never say "Target" in the same sentence as I say "Super Wal Mart." That would be like comparing a Renoir to a velvet portrait of two gladiators fighting Fat Elvis.

Just to be clear, Super Wal-Mart, you are the Velvet Elvis, not the Renoir.

I love everything about Target---the dollar aisle, the trendy discount clothing, the Archer Farms trail mix, even the Target-brand facial soap. I don't love, however, the fact that I am incapable of leaving the store without dropping over one hundred dollars.

Conversely, I hate everything about you,  Wal-Mart. I know that there are industries dedicated to mocking Wal-Mart, so I am not exactly plowing new ground here. Nevertheless, I hate the noise, the rows upon rows of processed food-like-substances and those Godforsaken demonic happy faces.

Every single time I go to Wal-Mart there is a surly teenager wearing a cape and a baby drinking Mountain Dew. I don't judge, because I watched Owen devour an entire chocolate bunny in one sitting yesterday, and I thought I was incredibly bad-ass in my Doc Martens back in high school.

But, still. Wal-Mart: you crush my soul, just a bit,  every. single. time.

Yet, dammit, I save so much money that my Scrooge-like tendencies win again and again. Frozen peas, yogurt, cheese, cream of tartar---they cost so much less, and it's the same stuff. We save at least forty dollars a week buying our groceries from you.

I wish I knew how to quit you.

Remember, Super Wal-Mart, that while I patronize your store and increase your bottom line, deep down, I am not one of you. I will be with you, but I will never join you. Never.

With much disgust,

Nancy

Hook up with adrienzgirl to write your own "love letter."

Think Tank Momma

30 comments:

Viv said...

I now visit Wal-Mart three or four times a year. I hate Wal-Mart. It started as the feeling you describe, and slowly...ever so slowly, the dread of walking through Wal-Mart's door got to me. Now, I reserve Wal-Mart for when my husband is home, when I am forced to buy excessive amounts of 'crap' for my children's classrooms (like Smarties and Runts) and when I need small appliances, like an extra cheap-o vacuum for my downstairs.

Michele said...

I too have a love/hate relationship with that store!!
Funny ;)

Trudy Woodland said...

It's been awhile since I've been to Wally World, but when I do I feel filthy. With a few extra bucks in my pocket I take the walk of shame to my car, wishing I went to Target.

Sonya said...

Im a Wal-Mart girl and proud of it:) I applied at both wal-mart and target at one time..Target offered me 8 an hour..Wal-mart offered me 10 and fully trained me as a cashier. I laughed when I saw women and men in suits trying to hide in the aisles and looking lost.

At the end of the day that store paid for christmas for my kids one year and kept the food on the table,wich is more than Target was prepaired to do.

Muliebrity said...

Nancy, You can get off the stuff! I have faith that you are stronger than Wal-Mart! Is the one in PF, Super now? I guess I can understand why you would go there then, but if you are going across the bridge, there is no excuse! BJ's, sister! They will have what you need!

Eternal Lizdom said...

I quit Wal Mart cold turkey about a decade ago. I don't miss it. I used to have the regular customer complaints about the shopping experience. Then I started working in a world where Wal Mart was our customer and I saw the games that WM plays with the suppliers. I'd seen news stories and read articles but kind of guffawed at it... then I experienced it and it was the straw that broke that poor proverbial camel's back.

I was also pretty upset when "Made in the USA" Wal Mart became "Made anywhere but the USA" Wal Mart.

It just isn't the same company started by Sam Walton.

I skip Sam's and majorly prefer Costco for numerous reasons.

I shop at Super Target and Meijer. I shop at a variety of grocery stores- Marsh, Kroger, Trader Joe's. I can shop ads and save money and be perfectly content. I found new places to get eyeglasses and oil changes and cheap trinket-y crap.

clearness said...

I can take my kids to Target and even Toys R Us and leave both without buying something for them and them leave with a happy face.

We have only gone to Wal-Mart about ten times since the kids have been around, but I swear, every single time we leave that place they have a melt down. I hate Wal-Mart.

Also, my mom said that the Wal-Mart she shops at (she doesn't have a Target option closest Target is 45 minutes away at least) is changing all their food products over to the Great Value brand or whatever they call their own stuff these days. She was complaining because she wanted some Kraft cheese and they only had the Wally World brand.

*LLUVIA* said...

I loved this! I too have a I love you but I hate you relationship with this store!!!

clearness said...

And....Eternal Lizdom......I once read somewhere (probably the internet and we all know how reliable the internet is!) that even when everything was made in USA, it was really made in some city full of factories that China created called USA (pronounced you-suh).

noisycolorfullively said...

You spoke my heart again! My true love is publix. The manager knows my name and calls me his favorite customer. They are alwasy nice to my kids and help me to my car. They're clean and organized and it's easy to access whatever I need.

Alas, Publix is also much more expensive, so I trudge through the Walmart aisles and gather the things I need each week. Dreaming of the shiney green and white oasis of freshness down the road.

adrienzgirl said...

OMG! You slayed me with this one. That superstore and I hate each other. I go, I break out in a cold sweat when the doors open. I feel my heart start to race. I feel the panic and dread wash over me like a winter blizzard. I force myself to go in and buy things. BECAUSE IT'S CHEAPER.

I really really really need a job so I can go back to shopping at Target.

Prairiemaid said...

Boy, can I identify!!!

Wish Target would build here.

Momza said...

A-freakin-men.
I have a love-hate with Walmart too.
Their low low prices are mostly because of their low low quality.
Their meat is as awful as their produce, so I go to another store for that stuff. But for paper goods, and random crrrrrap
the garage-sale that is Walmart, is where I take my money.
I just hate them. lol

Ms. Moon said...

I pretend Walmart does not exist. Mostly.

Michelle said...

Walmart is honestly the worst place in the world. I'm generally a happy, laid back person, but the second I pull into a Walmart parking lot I get angry and mean. I just try to avoid them now.

Ugh. Just thinking about Walmart makes me mad!

Caution Flag said...

You really are one of my favorite bloggers, Nancy. Your writing style and insight are perfectly complemented by the humor.

That said, I love Walmart with my whole wallet. However, I did have an unfortunate experience there on Saturday in Kentucky. It turns out it was the first Saturday of the month and all the government checks came out of the hollers. The sight left us dumbfounded.

Eternal Lizdom said...

For those who go to Wal Mart for the cheap crap... I highly suggest spending Saturday morning perusing garage sales or hitting up Goodwill or Salvation Army time. Cheap and sometimes crap but oftentimes treasure!!

Kori said...

No love/hate here; just hate. Clearly you haven't read any of my anti-walmart posts, ha ha. Seriously; I just don't shop there unless I absolutely HAVE to, which is maybe 2 times/yr. And this, even though we don't have a target any closer than 45 miles away. :)

Marla said...

Nancy ~ You nailed this one. I hate Wal Mart and yet....

This year I am growing a ginormous veggie garden, have laying hens and a freezer full of homegrown meat. I will survive sans Wal Mart!!

Any ideas on homemade toilet paper?

Coby said...

I used to love going grocery shopping, until I started doing it at Wal-Mart. I love-hate it, and I love to hate it.

I buy my produce at Sunflower Farmer's Market. I got tired of picking through half-rotted, fruit fly-infested tomatoes to find one good one.

I can put up with the gangstas and neo-Nazis that shop there occasionally. I just smile real sweetly and walk by them real fast.

Mel said...

WalMart makes me depressed. I never leave there without seeing an unloved child in a dirty diaper, or some other sad human specimen. The smiley faces make me crazy. The thought of browbeaten suppliers, underpaid workers and rich ceo's bugs me too. I used to go for the cheaper baby formula and diapers and now for sundries and toiletries, but I notice how they manipulate prices to keep me confused. I'd rather drive farther to Target and spend a few dollars more than sacrifice my sanity. Last time I went there, I came home with a sad beta fish that broke my heart. Still have him, I hope he likes it here.

Unknown Mami said...

We don't have a Walmart in SF and I have only been a few times. Every time I have been, I've left depressed. It just feels like hell in there.

Angie Muresan said...

I have never been inside a Walmart. And I don't intend to go. I have two other sisters and two brothers and we shop at Costco and then divide the food among us all.

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

Please sign that letter from me as well! You said it perfect!

only a movie said...

Walmart makes me want to dig my nails into my palms. So do most big places, but Walmart has a creepy edge to it that sends me reeling.
I still go - infrequently - because I am a superfrugal girl, but most times the trade off doesn't do it for me.
Great post. :-)

mama-face said...

Just last night my sis-in-law were talking about this very thing. You just can't help yourself when you know you'll pay less there for the same thing you'd have to buy elsewhere.

ah. I miss this blogging with friends thing. :)

Tracie said...

I feel the same way. I have to drive 45 minutes to get to Target so Wal-Mart it is for the big shopping trips. I do sneak out to Kroegar for small trips. I'm so passive agressive.

Cat said...

I have to say, I love Wal Mart. Not necessarily other Wal Mart shoppers, but deep down it's kind of comforting that there's a place I can grocery shop in pajamas and a robe without getting second looks. Not that I do, but I definitely have an inner velvet Elvis that urges me that way...

Traci said...

Sometimes I wonder if we were separated at birth (except for the fact that I am four years older than you!). I feel exactly the same way. I know all the arguments against Wal-Mart and yet I find myself there time after time. Those rollbacks suck me in like Damien in the Omen trilogy. Wal-Mart is the devil but it is a cheap devil. I cannot walk into Target, however without dropping a C-note or more, either. I could live there. Sadly my children can spot a Target from a hundred paces. Does that tell you something? Nah... Me neither.
:-)
Traci

Mrs4444 said...

This is funny. I have the same problem!