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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Weekend Clean-Up

Paul's back from California! He gave a presentation to a bunch of Marines, and informed me that Marine call names either come from 1) something stupid that the Marine did or 2) something related to the Marines's last name.

Some samples:
1) Last name: Wurtz. Call Name: Liver
2) Last name: Campbell Call Name: Soup
3) Stupid thing: Having big ears Call Name: Ears
4) Stupid thing: Talking quietly Call Name: Mumbles
5) Stupid thing: Having a belly Call Name: Pooh

I love that a man or woman can serve our country and do acts of daring-do, all the while being called "Pooh" by his friends and commanding officers.

By the way, the only fighter pilot I ever met had a fairly non-offensive nickname: Piper. Why? Because he played the bagpipes. I will speak boldly and argue that there is nothing stupid about playing the bagpipes. His wife, perhaps, would disagree...


Blog contest!
What would be your military name, and why?

Me first: I think I would be Pansy because I would be weak and useless in any military capacity.

***

My mother has taught preschool for almost twenty years. My friends call her the "child whisperer," because children flock to her as if she was coated with Cheerios and Apple Juice. When two or more children are gathered, my mother is on the floor, making puppets out of lint and air, and they are enraptured.

You can imagine it was a bit of a surprise to both of us when my mother walked into the kitchen to see Joel for the first time in six months. He looked at her, with her gray curly hair and pale blue pajamas. He opened his mouth in abject terror. He screamed, silently, for almost a minute, until he was finally able to produce a horrified wail. Clearly, he thought my mother was a monster.

Two days later, he's almost ready to let her hold him.

Now my father, meanwhile, a quiet man who tends to enjoy a good sit with the paper of a lively viewing of Deadliest Catch?
A man, who while he loves his grandchildren dearly, does not feel inclined to play with them all day long? Joel has deemed him the MOST AWESOME PERSON EVER.

And oh, does it piss off Mom. It's really pretty hilarious.

***

And it's marathon training season again! Paul came home around 9:00 PM last night, and immediately changed into his running clothes to run five miles in the dark. Then, he woke up at 6:00 AM this morning to run another fourteen. I told my mother, "If you two weren't here, I would officially want to kill him."

***

Paul worked all last week with a young, blond twenty-year old. They traveled together, ate together, shared deep, dark secrets, and painted each others' toenails. She's very pretty, and I don't hate her at all. Not. one. bit.

It turns out, as Paul drove her home, that she lives directly across the street from my good friends. He saw them walking down the street, and felt the need to explain why he was traveling with this young chickie.

I'm kinda disappointed, because I would have loved a phone call from my friend, concerned about the extracurricular activities of my jet-setting husband. That would have been a lot of fun.

***

That's all! Don't forget to submit your military name!

3 comments:

Coby Goesling said...

I think I would be "Boo." As in "Boo-hoo," because I would cry the moment my commanding officer yelled, "Drop and give me 20!"

That's hilarious about Joel and your parents! Try having ALL of your children's grandparents being divorced and re-married, all of them competing for your children's affection. Good times.

dek said...

When I saw her yesterday, Grandma (Mildred) has already heard the tale of Joel and his grandparents and was terribly amused by the whole thing. I think it was the first thing she mentioned after we exchanged pleasantries.

I think my military name would be "Boxer" or "Champ," because I once lost a fight with a punching bag and ended up in the ER.

Jen said...

Sounds like Joel and Ryan have something in common. When Bob spent last weekend in Salisbury at his Mom's with his two brothers, one brother-in-law and 7 nieces and nephews, Ryan would not let ANY of them hold him. He was on Bob's hip the whole time!