This week's Red Writing Hood writing challenge was to begin a work of short fiction with an identical cold open ( in bold below). This took me in a different direction than I expected.
As always, your thoughts and feedback are welcome.
Quite the Conversation Piece
An art opening at a lavish downtown gallery. A car crashes through the plate glass window. The driver's door opens, and an eight-year-old girl steps out.
Olivia turns to her companion and murmurs, "This old chestnut." She sips her wine, continues, "You tell me, Bernard. A commentary on the actualization of feminine power?"
"Perhaps," he says, "But that's been done, and done better. I mean, a broken window? If it was a broken glass ceiling, it would be a cliche, yet a bit of a lark, at least." He gazes at his empty glass, "What does it take to get a refill around here?"
"Oh, Darling, the waiters are all attending to the girl," she says, gazing at another installation, a mobile made from rusty forks. "World hunger, very good," she murmurs. "Put a sticker on that one." She turns to her husband, "Bernard? Are you even listening?"
He gazes towards the entryway. The glass, splattered across the bamboo floor is almost jewel-like. Deliciously dangerous. An homage to Pollack, perhaps?
He faces Olivia, "So sorry, Darling. I am simply enchanted by that girl's performance." He stares once more at his empty cup. "Although I wish somebody had clued in the help. How much?"
She sighs, twisting her earrings. "How much what, Darling?
"The piece. The girl. She's got the crying thing down. Very authentic. I like the wailing. I like the blood. I especially like the broken glass. Quite the conversation piece, don't you think?"
She lifts an eyebrow. "You can't be serious." She stares at the girl, presently shaking in the arms of the bartender. "I mean, are you sure the shattered glass is included? Where would we put it?"
She considers the geometry of their home. It could go in the sun room. There is lots of light, and good, solid, soundproof doors. Yes. That would work. She smiles and purrs, "I thought you said this was 'done and done better.'"
"You know as well as I do that good art can be surprising. Please, Darling. For me." He clasps her elbow, whispers, "You can have the World Hunger forks, but let me have this piece. I am begging you."
She nods briefly, and wags a finger towards the scene, "Well, go on then."
She watches as Bernard strides past the ocean of shards, past the emergency technicians and places a sticker on the girl's forehead.
"We'll take it," he says. "And when you have a minute, please refill my glass."
26 comments:
Oh, I love this! A very unique take on the prompt!
I LOVE it! this was really good.
They already stole what I wanted to say. But I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!
Big, big love.
Heh! That is too funny. Enjoyed the detachment of the buyers and the callousness. Very well done!
:-)
Well, I may be scared to attend a dinner party in your town but I love, Love, LOVE what you did with this. You are quite a writer, lady. I am inspired!
:-)
Traci
Once again you hit this one out of the ballpark (see how American I am being in my enthusiasm!) You are so ready for your first novel, I for one would love to see a book of short stories written and really evidence where your fictional flights of fancy take you. I'll borrow another phrase and say "just do it already."
I really thoroughly enjoyed this. It was interesting to read it from a patron's perspective. I wonder what happens next?
That is amazingly well-done!
Loved it!
That was awesome. Bidding for the art installation will start at $250,000.
Wow. Just wow.
Scary to think anyone could be THAT clueless! :)
You are SOOO good!!
Ha! I had to smile at their self-absorbedness (yep, made up a word there). Great job!
I am really tickled by this. I want to put a sticker on it!
This was fabulous!!!
That was great, I could see them standing there having a quiet discussion among the chaos.
Really great!!!
Kinda horrifyingly funny. Well done! Please write the next chapter!
Wow, Nancy! You took this and ran with it. Love what you've done with what I thought was an impossible prompt. I've chickened out in the last several weeks....ugh. How do you do it?!?!
I love your take on it! I love the hoity-toity details in the characters.
Hysterical! You pegged their self-absorption perfectly!
Quirky and thought provoking. Definitely sends home a message and you've managed to do so in a captivating way. And I think I know that couple!
Love it!! Really well done, Nancy. :-)
I've said it before, I will say it again. You are such a talented writer! Really you are!
Oh my lord, you are a creative GENIUS! This piece is stunningly original and smart. Crafty. Great fun to read!
Wow! Great job!! I love how you did that. I would have never thought of it.
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