Friday, October 16, 2009
Mrs. 4444 passed on this invitation to try out Friday Fragments. Check out her blog to see where all the magic happens.
My friend Coby had a baby about two and a half weeks ago. She had announced that she was having a boy, but planned on keeping the baby's name a surprise. This, of course, could not stand. I emailed her, telling her that I needed to know the baby's name, because I was ordering a SUPER COOL gift for him. She was kind enough to share his name.
Okay, it's actually Joshua.
And, the super-cool gift? I was going to get young Joshua a Dharma Initiative Onesie with his name stitched over the pocket. After all, nothing says "Welcome to this world, precious gift of God" like merchandise from ABC's Lost.
Alas, I could not find the shirt ANYWHERE, and found myself in a pickle. I finally went to a website that specializes in personalization and STOP READING COBY! RIGHT NOW! decided to order her a coffee cup with cartoon depictions of her entire family.
Cute, right?And here's the next problem. Coby is biracial (black father, white mother). Her husband is white. Her three sons are each a quarter black. And, I know this is hard to believe, but the cartoon selections for the cup do not adequately address the multiple hues of our great, diverse nation. The choices include: Albino Blond, Medium-Toned Brunette, or Nubian Goddess. If you are Asian or a redhead, you apparently do not exist. Likewise, there was not a cartoon depiction that accurately represented the adorable hues of her three children.
Honestly? I'm not even sure if I got the color of the dog right. I mean, it would be pretty random for me to call Coby and say, "For no reason whatsoever, could you tell me the color of your dog?"
I believe this exercise is Karma, kicking me in the butt. I could have just been patient, waiting to find out the name like everybody else, and then bought this family a gift card to Target.
YOU CAN READ AGAIN, COBY.
I don't know who that woman was in my living room this morning, telling her son that he could eat cold ravoli, right out of the can, if he would only, please, please, please put a sweater vest on for picture day. I mean, really, lady. Get a grip.
Speaking of portraits, I think that they are almost as much fun as having a root canal with an ice skate.
Owen bought his friend a Barbie for her birthday party. I told him to choose one of the many princesses, and he turned to me and said, "I can't choose just one. They're all so beautiful!"
I am raising a future beauty pageant coach.
If you ever see a baby wearing glasses, let me fill you in on a little secret. They're real. I swear. I didn't wake up and decide to dress my kid up in a costume, just for kicks.
Enjoy your weekend! We'll be setting off on our ark any minute, the rate things are going here.