Thursday, October 29, 2009

Thursday Mash-Up or the "Oh, Right! I have kids!" edition.

First things first:
Tomorrow will be my one-year blogging anniversary. This will be my 321st post, believe it or not. I thank you, loyal readers, for indulging my need to have an audience. I thank you for providing me free therapy, a real excuse NOT to scrapbook, and a new set of creative eyes. I see the world more clearly because I am always looking for the transcendent in the ordinary. Or, at least the sublime in the ridiculous. So thank you.

If you want to see where it all started, check out my first post. We've all come a long way, thank God.

In honor of my year anniversary, I will do my first BLOGGING GIVEAWAY. Make a comment on the actual blog (Facebook doesn't count.)  Discuss your favorite entry, or a deep thought, or tell me something funny. The winner will be randomly selected using one of the many random selection software devices that I haven't researched yet I'm thoughtfully considering.

The winner will receive a ten dollar gift card from my house of worship, Starbucks.

A Caveat:
You will not hear the results until Wednesday. Unless I encounter free DSL somewhere along the way, we are once again traveling and the blog will once again go dark. This time we are traveling to Marshall University in Wild and Wonderful West Virginia. Paul is running his 8th marathon there on Sunday.
Along the way, we will be staying over in Morgantown, home of WVU, an infamous party school. Their mascot frightens me:

They grow real beards to do this. Even the women.

We will arrive at Marshall, and will treat or treat! In West Virginia! Naturally, I'm making Owen and Paul dress up like matching scarecrows. I hope people know they are in costume. (And that, ladies and gentlemen, will be my last West Virginia wisecrack).

Except for this: I'm going to meet Paul at mile 19, right around the time he's starting to flag. I will then squeal loudly. You know, like a pig. If that doesn't get him moving, I don't know what will...

Ummm....Nance? You still haven't talked about your kids:
Oh right, the kids. The reason I started this blog. The reason I call myself a "mommyblogger." Them.

Let me tell you one story, and then I'll call it a day. Yesterday, I had the boys play outside. Our backyard is gated, and I can see them through my window. As they played outside, I fixed lunch, and then retreated to the bathroom.

As I returned from my little sit, I heard the sound of the external water spicket. I stepped outside, and saw that Owen had opened the back gate. Both Owen and his brother had walked to the side of the house. Using PVC pipe, Owen had fashioned a fountain of sorts. He then turned on the water at full blast, making our own version of Old Faithful, right in my side yard.

The force of the water blew Joel's glasses off and drenched him head to toe. He, naturally, was delighted. Owen, mad with power, wanted to increase the buzz with MORE PVC pipes and MORE water pressure.


I'll think twice before leaving them alone again, lest Owen build a nuclear bomb or a Molotov cocktail.


dek said...

Along the way, we will be staying over in Morgantown, home of WVU, an infamous party school. Their mascot frightens me.

I don't think NAU Lumberjacks should make too much fun of WVU Mountaineers. Do have a look at the Morgantown people mover system if you get the chance. The future is now!

While you travel, you can experience lots of things about the Mountain State. For example, place a call on a West Virginia cell phone (honk your car horn), do some auto body work with West Virginia chrome (duct tape), and fill up the gas tank with your West Virginia credit card (siphon) - after all, Owen has already demonstrated prowess with tubing.

Montani semper liberi!

Corrie Howe said...

Congratulations, Nance! One year young. I love the story about the boys today. But seriously, I love reading your blog, I can't pick one.

If I win, we'll call it even, since I never bought that cup of coffee. But in all fairness, you wanted to walk instead. :-)

Stephanie said...

I am cracking up over Starbucks being your house of worship. :-) Happy blogoversary!

Lisa C said...

I think there's a law against mothers going to the bathroom, but then there's that other law that Mother Nature wrote that says "you gotta go when you gotta go!" It's a risk either way.

Caution Flag said...

You are such a good writer!! Love that picture of the boys. He really was mad with power, wasn't he?

I know where Marshall is!! I grew up in far superior Kentucky (about 30 mins away from Marshall.) Believe it or not, I knew a lot of kids who wouldn't go there to school because it wasn't in Kentucky. While there, remember that Huntington was named the most unhealthy U.S. city last year. Something to do with pizza and donut shops in every corner. ENJOY!

Melani said...

OK I thought this was funny: I got a small pumpkin at the pumpkin patch today to make a "mushroom" out of it. The stem was to be a squash of some sort, from Martha Stewart's Living Magazine...she had real cute mushrooms on the cover, the stem was a squash and the top was supposed to be the pumpkin. so, I clean mine out and go to put it on the squash and it doesn't fit, so I pull the pumpkin apart, to make it fit and split the pumpkin in half! LOL I was so bummed at first and then I laughed about it, I didn't know I was so strong! so....we don't have any mushrooms for the front yard, only pumpkins and butternut squash that are like jack-o-lanterns since my older daughter carved them like pumpkins!

sd said...

What I love about your blog is that it is so funny, so frank, and all mothers can relate on some level.

Only YOU could post a story about, say, an incident of duct-taping your child's mouth shut so you can watch the new season of 90210 without interruption AND still come across as a supermom and cause the rest of us to think that we might have done the same exact thing. (Readers: Nancy has not actually performed this horrid act. But I'm not saying that she never will.)

Finally, I love that when I first read in this post: "As I returned from my little sit...", I actually read "As I returned from my little shit..." it did not faze me in the least. You could have been referring to your bathroom retreat. Or your lunch. Or your child. And we all would have related on some level.

dek said...

Oh right, the kids. The reason I started this blog. The reason I call myself a "mommyblogger." Them.

You write because you're a writer. You're blessed to have two adorable writing prompts in your home, but you write because you're a writer.