Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Words of Wisdom

Alas, the well is dry. The ink-pot is empty. There is no gas in the tank.

In short, inspiration is lacking. I have finally run out of things to say.

The wise thing to do would be to just say nothing, but wisdom has never been my strong suit...


Over the weekend we went to Wegman's, otherwise known as The Grocery Store Where I Would Like to be Buried. 

As we walked in the door, there was a woman giving out free samples of freshly-pressed orange juice. Joel and I pushed our cart over to enjoy some citrus-y goodness.

She saw Joel and said, "It's wonderful that there are so many more opportunities for the blind these days"

I told her that he wasn't blind. Undaunted, she continued, telling me about Braille programs she had heard about from her neighbor. She explained that I should give his friends magnifying glasses so they can relate to his disability.

I backed away slowly, as Joel was frantically reaching for more juice. Juice he could see with his perfectly functional eyes. 

Now, if I was clever, I would have said something to the woman. Instead, I just said, "Thanks for the advice!"


I volunteered at the food pantry yesterday, and it was perhaps the most relaxing hour of my life. All I did was stack cans of fruit and vegetables on shelves. Again and again. I turned each label so it faced the same way, and made sure that the creamed corn was separate from the kernel corn.

I walked out feeling like I had just had a massage. Mindless tasks are so good for the soul. Especially when somebody else is watching your children while you do said tasks.

I learned something else---don't donate cranberry sauce. They have plenty. Splurge on a nice can of fresh pineapple and feel good about it.

Guess what I did for Mother's Day yesterday? Bought a card for my mother-in-law. Bought her a gift. Wrapped it up. Dropped it off at the post office.

I even remembered to let her son sign her card.

Does everybody do this?

I used to make fun of my mother because she wore handkerchiefs all the time as sweat-rags. Her hot flashes are intense, apparently. Naturally, I teased her and called her The Boss or Pat Benatar.

I believe she will stay around, just for the sheer pleasure of watching me suffer through my own hot flashes someday. She may be one hundred and five, but she will smile and whisper, "See? Told ya."

By the way, Mom? I'm wearing a handkerchief, prairie-girl style, as I write this.


Coby said...

I am laughing hysterically at that foolish woman in the grocery store! SERIOUSLY???? Who DOES that? I suppose she meant well, but REALLY???

Snicker snicker - your mom looks like Pat Benatar. My mom went through a Billy Idol phase with short, spiky blond hair. I told her she was the brother I always wanted.

And yes, I have forgotten to have Shayne sign the Mother's Day cards to HIS OWN MOTHER. Whatever. I bought it. I buy all her birthday and Christmas presents too. When he starts doing that, then he can sign the cards.

Cat said...

I'm with Coby... who does that?

I love mindless tasks.

clearness said...

I want a dainty little handkerchief to blot my sensitive eyes and dab on my delicate nose......At least, that's what I tell myself....ha ha

I get comments about Joey frequently. So far, it hasn't bothered me much....but just wait. One day......I"m sure a comment will send me off the deep end....And? I will blog about it.......I'm sure!

I always donate things that I enjoy to eat for the food pantry. Which sometimes comes to bite me in the bottom because we'll run out of something and have a bag of 'donate' stuff and I'll pull it out of the bag with good intentions to replace it, but it sometimes takes me awhile.....oops

Melani said...

I probably would have not been nice to the lady at the store...maybe she couldn't see very well...

Mindless tasks are wonderful, good for you! :)

Ms. Moon said...

I always work with a sweat rag- I don't even bother with a handkerchief.
I pray you never need this.

adrienzgirl said...

Mindless tasks are so necessary for those of us who can't get the mind to shut off....ever. I am glad you enjoyed your time at the pantry.

The lady at the grocery store? OMG! I would have lost it with her really! What is wrong with people? I mean really!

Aunt of 14 said...

Some people just don't realize it when they're put their foot in their mouth!

I had a friend who was standing in front of my house. She was talking about how she would NEVER paint her house blue. Her and her hubby would NEVER live in a blue house... that she thinks blue is the ugliest color you could put on a house.

Now... my house is blue. Um, hello? And it is PRETTY house!

DUTA said...

"Mindless tasks are so good for the soul" - great statement. I like it.

only a movie said...

Wegman's is truly a lovely store.

Yep, the hotflashes are not fun.

Unknown Mami said...

Cleverness would have been wasted on the foolish OJ woman. Although I would have been tempted to say, "It's wonderful that there are so many more opportunities for idiots these days"

Tracie said...

Yes. I did the same thing for my MIL yesterday. And I don't even like her. As mom's of boys we have to do these things because Karma is watching us. Always watching.....

Eternal Lizdom said...

Wanna know what makes an awesome head scarf? Survivor Buffs. From the TV show. I won one once and it was my favorite cleaning accessory for keeping my hair out of my way...

I think I would have had to have snapped off some kind of retort at that grocery store woman. Grrrr...

Minivan Lover said...

Why are people so perplexed by a toddler who wears glasses? Real glasses. I mean really.

Bethany said...

Dry well?
I don't think so.
Love your musings.
So weird to call him blind? What the heck!
Glad you got some free juice out of it anyhow. Jeepers.
I can't even get my own gift/card for my mother on time, so a thousand kudos to you for getting hubbies stuff bought and out.
You look cute in that hankerchief though, Pat. Rock on.

smArtee said...

What was that crazy person I would loved to have a great comeback for her....I swear ..I dont know where these people come from..?

Gretchen said...

Ha Ha! I got a good laugh about the lady in the grocery store. You should have told her it was time to change the batteries in her hearing aid!

Mrs4444 said...

See, now that's why you should unload your fragmented thoughts on Fridays, for Friday Fragments--these are perfect! (Plus, it's so easy.)

That woman in the store meant well, but she's an idiot.

Not looking forward to hot flashes at ALL.

Jen said...

Wow. You shoulda made a deaf comment, 'cause she sure wasn't hearing you! Idiot woman.
And, no, not everyone sends their MIL a Mother's Day gift. Apparently we are the only one who do. My MIL called the other day to thank me for the flowers ('cause who are we kidding, she knew I was the one who made sure they were sent) and burst into tears. She was so upset that she does so little for us because of the distance, and we were the only ones who ever remember to send Mother's Day flowers. I felt bad for her. There. Couldn't blog that, you got it. ;)
Happy Mother's Day! :)
Jen at Laughing at Chaos