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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Fashion Emergency

Dear Carters, Gymboree, and the rest of Y'all: 

My husband used to be a Korean translator, so he traveled to Asia fairly often in his younger days.

He's been to Japan at least twice, and has always been amazed and...stunned by the creative applications of the English language.

Don't get me wrong. If I was writing anything in Japanese, it would be a disaster. Big ups to the Japanese for even making the effort. Nevertheless, the mangled results are often funny, or just plain weird.

This is typical.

As is this.

Paul reports that it wouldn't be unusual to see a large billboard saying something like, "Elephant Fuck." No further explanation given, or apparently needed.

I thought of this today as Joel and I enjoyed a refreshing beverage together:
My mother bought him this shirt, and I find it quite dashing indeed. But also confusing. Don't alligators eat squirrels and people and fish? I imagine they would eschew kale or brussel sprouts with a swift barrel roll and a bite to the jugular.

Maybe I'm over-thinking this.

I'm not opposed to dressing children in silly outfits for my own amusement:
Owen's shirt says, "Hi, I'm new here."  Joel is dressed as a giraffe. And LOVING it.

Although I personally wouldn't do it, I can see the humor in shirts like this. Because I'm secretly a twelve-year-old boy:

Also, I'm all about newborn clothing that says, "I love Mommy." After all, when the little beastie projectile vomits unspeakable things at three AM, it's good to have a reminder.

I just ask, clothing designers, for a bit of logic.  I mean, I just don't get how "Good Boy" and a stegosaurus go together.
And while you're at it? You can stop taunting mothers who have only boys with things like this:

Love,

Me

25 comments:

FabuLeslie said...

That is hilarious! I love the pooping in progress one. And the pink frilly dress is so lovely. You should do what my mom does and buy girls' clothes. Then give them to friends and family members who have kids that they will fit!

Beth said...

I always thought it was unfair that there was so much more cute stuff for little girls. I kept that poor child of mine in a variety of cute OshKosh overalls and short-alls until he was old enough to rise up and say "NO MORE!" :)

I must say that Japanese billboard would bother me a bit. I'd be looking hither and yon for proof! :) But the shirts are funny!

Shell said...

Oh, that last one got me! None of that cuteness here!

Salt said...

Oh yes I can see that Joel loves to be a giraffe! He is awfully cute. And I love Owen's "I'm new here" shirt also.

Personally, when I become a mom, I have already told my husband that I need a shirt that says "Pageant Mom". Even if we have a boy.

If I ever saw a billboard that said "Elephant Fuck" I'd die. It makes me have a brighter day today knowing that something like that might exist in the world right now.

Coby said...

I love the pooping in progress shirt. Every boy child aged 0-13 needs one of those, as does every mother of boys. Love love love.

mama-face said...

The dress is delish. Makes me almost want to go back in time or have me some grandchildren. Almost.

I love engrish.com. I saw that you asked for suggestions for this post and my mind went completely blank. I'm sure I'll think of a million of 'em later!

LB said...

I am a Gymbo junkie. I love girl stuff. Hell, I love all stuff! I'm a collector of stuff, really.

Any way... That tea bags in the bowel comment made me wet my pants. Very funny...

Mama Zen said...

But, can I get a t-shirt that says "Elephant Fuck?" What a great conversations starter!

Ms. Moon said...

Excellent post! My grandson used to have a shirt that said, "What happens at Grandma's, stays at Grandma's."
It was my favorite shirt.

Aunt Becky said...

I LOOOOVE the poorly translated things! That is totally what I want to go overseas to do! To spy (and buy) that stuff. FOR SERIOUS.

ModernMom said...

Okay..they giraffe. fabulous!

One of my fave blog reads is Adventures in China..she speaks often of the language ummm challenges? LOL

Mel said...

Oh too funny! A lot gets lost in translation, doesn't it? I just love the I'm new here shirt, where was that one when I had new people?? Whenver I see a bitty new baby I always need to say Look a brand new person!! Only I seem to be amused by that one. Thanks for sharing the interesting stuff - elephant fuck??? I'll remember that one for a while!
Sorry about the girly things, I got one of each so I have no unfulfilled urges where pink or blue are concerned. I loved them best in overalls and a tee shirt, busy getting dirty!

dek said...

Joel in the alligator shirt it too cute. You'll be glad to know, however, that alligators do indeed eat their greens.

Also, isn't the "Good Boy" a triceratops? That's how you can tell I'm not a parent - I glossed over the baby clothes and went straight to checking dinosaur species.

Erin said...

elephant fuck? wtf?

and the little boy next door to us runs around frequently wearing things like that pink frilly get up....

Traci said...

OMG, Nancy! I almost peed my pants! The good boy stegosaurus is a little weird, I agree. Sorry about the pink dresses -- if it's any consolation, they taunt us that have girls, as well. My daughter has more dresses than any three year old ever should. Or four year old. Or Carrie Bradshaw for that matter. LOL
:-)

June said...

The giraffe costume is awesome!!

Frau said...

So true!! Pisses me off little girl outfit would alway say Daddy's little girl and they boy stuff I love mommy! Elephant Fuck!

only a movie said...

Little girl clothing is so sweet - I'm glad at least I have nieces to purchase for...

That giraffe is too cute. :-)

adrienzgirl said...

At least you have some variety to choose from. When my boys were little little we had three choice, plains, trains and dinosaurs. If you were lucky some bears or puppies on rare occasion.

Now there are bugs, all sorts of animals, wide varieties of dinosaurs not just the T-Rex, and my personal favorite....MONKEYS! Woot!

I totally agree about the little girl clothes though. They do suck when you have nothing but boys, boys, and more boys.

Tracie said...

Thank goodness my boys are too big for Gymboree. Everytime I went in there I started wanted to have another baby to try for a girl. I even went through an 'adopt a Chinese baby' phase.

Cat said...

Nerd alert: I really want to buy Boy a t-shirt that says something in Klingon.

I love pooping in progress!

Girls clothes are totally cute. I go to Wal Mart and look at the boys stuff with trucks on it, and I try not to stare at the pretty frilly summer stuff that's out now for the girlies...

Melani said...

Love MamaZen's comment! I want one too! hahahaha we could start an elephant club, LOL

Unknown Mami said...

I over-think those kids message t-shirts too. Okay that is the cutest giraffe I will EVER see.

Maggie May said...

i love the 'i eat my greens' so cute!

Angie Muresan said...

Haha. So funny. I once went grocery shopping and the man in line next to me told his 5 year old little boy who was wearing a frilly purple dress that if he behaves he'll take him shopping for a ballerina skirt in hot pink. There was no translation error in what I heard. We all spoke English.