Bad poetry

First a definition:

doggerel  (adjective)
1.
(of verse)
a.
comic or burlesque, and usually loose or irregular in measure.
b.
rude; crude; poor.–noun

My brother got all the poetic genes in our family. But, the muse comes when she comes, so enjoy the following bits of doggerel below:

Ode to Coffee

Coffee, coffee, I love you so,
I treasure my daily cup.
You pick me up when I feel low,
With each sip, my pulse goes up.
Even though I only drink half-caff
So Joel doesn't lose his mind,
What once caused agony now makes me laugh,
I'm much more calm, more kind.
The pleasure of my daily drink,
Makes me feel a bit more sane.
When kids howl, and I'm on the brink,
This elixer removes all pain.
One may think that that I go too far,
But coffee, Oh, coffee, you're my shining star.

Wasn't that awful? Here's one more:

There once was a mother named Nancy,
Her life was anything but fancy.
She drank a glass of wine,
Then everything was fine,
Even though the boys remained antsy.

Still reading? God love ya! This is it, I swear.

Clutter-A Haiku

Owen's crap--begone!
It's all going in the trash.
Good boys pick up toys.

I used to teach, edit, and grade poetry. Really.