Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Here's #82

Just for guilt's sake, I went back to see how many posts I have written about Joel, as opposed to his older brother. 

Not surprisingly, Owen could call 104 posts his own, while Joel had 81.

I started writing this blog after Joel was born, so Owen didn't even have a head start. 

In my own defense, though, Owen can talk and he says a lot of funny things. For example, yesterday, I said, "I hope we packed enough underwear," a phrase Owen finds hilarious. 

He then upped the preschool hilarity index by adding, "I hope we packed enough penises!" 

I said to him, "You only get one, Buddy. Use it well." 

He nodded solemnly and replied, "I will, Mommy." 

As Joel gets older, he is doing more noteworthy things besides being adorable or having surgeries. He's on the cusp of two, and I'm feeling it more every day. 

By "it" I mean "verbally abused." Mealtimes are a challenge because I must prepare it stealthily, less he see it in its incomplete state and completely lose his shit. For example, he came downstairs and waddled into the kitchen says, "Jew! Jew!" 

I don't think he was referring to Yentl (although what kid doesn't love Yentl?) as much as stating his desire for juice. 

I handed him a sippy cup from the fridge and upon finding it filled with milk, he shook his head, made an inhuman sound and did a tantrum dance, wailing, "JEW! JEW!" I grabbed another sippy cup and filled it with juice. 

But not soon enough. My little tyrant threw the unacceptable milk, at my bare foot and flung himself on the floor with the agony of it all.

I limped into my room with my smart phone and shut the door. I let him wail his damn fool head off and blissfully ignored him. 

I'm too old for this shit. I already did it once. I'm not gonna fret or second guess myself. He's having a fit, and I'll deal with it when he's calm. 

But not a minute before. 

That's what's nice about parenthood the second time around. You know that they aren't made of glass, and that they can be unreasonable little buggars. 

Sometimes the best action can be summed up in one word: RETREAT. 

Besides, he's not always like this. Generally, he's funny, loving his tractors and dump trucks. 

Yesterday morning, he woke up early and I took him to my bed so he could sleep more. He rested his sweet blond head on my belly, and it rose and fell with my breaths. His heaviness, his rosebud of a mouth, the sound of his gentle inhales and exhales----it's my own private ocean. The whole world stopped as he and I drifted and bobbed together, carefree, boundless, and at peace. 


clearness said...

Love the photo and is that his reflection sort of in the water? Looks precious!

Aunt of 14 said...

Have you ever seen that blurb on America's Funniest Videos where the little guy was wailing his head off and the mother would leave the room. The boy would stop crying, walk out of the room and upon seeing his mother again, would start wailing his head off again. Mother would leave the kitchen, boy would stop crying until he could see his mother again. He would only cry when his mother was in his line of vision... I thought it was cute!! But of course, I can't hear so a baby crying probably wouldn't faze me.

Minivan Lover said...

The cute moments do help ease the chaos of the tantrums. :)

Coby said...

Re: Aunt of 14's comment - that little boy on funniest home videos is my friend's nephew. She says he's a real turd!!!

This post had me cracking up! Owen is super-duper funny, indeed!

Beth Zimmerman said...

I think retreat was probably the wisest course of action at that point! If it doesn't get the results he wants he'll quit wasting the effort one of these days!

Tracie said...

I think my 2nd one was much easier because I didn't have as much energy and time to focus on him. Which is really my way of making myself feel better about neglecting him.

Salt said...

I would have flipped out too!

Ok obviously I'm kidding, but this is information that will be very useful to me when I become a parent. I guess I didn't realize that it was okay to let them scream it out like that. :) I like it.

Kori said...

"You only get one, so use it well?" I live in a houseful of penises (penii?)-I will get SO much use out of that one!

Ms. Moon said...

Ha! I love the things your sons say. And if there weren't those perfectly perfect moments of peace and hearbreaking love, we'd just, well, eat them for dinner.

Erin said...

I'm so glad I"m not the only one who goes in the bathroom and shuts the door while that shit plays out. I should do it more often, but I get sucked in sometimes and yell.

love the photo! and that he was yelling "Jew, Jew!"

Bekah said...


The Blue Zoo said...

Aw, well arent you a nice mom? I would have probably thrown the cup back at him... LOL

Just kidding.... sorta..... =)

Cat said...

When Boy throws stuff at me I have to count to 5 before I respond, because wow, do I get mad. I can take fussing, tantrums, al that junk, but throwing food and drinks? That I worked hard to earn? At his beloved mother who has sacrificed SO MUCH for his well-being? Oh hellz naw.

Cheeseboy said...

No worries, I think. I write more about the funnier of my two sons too. I can't help it. He says some darned funny things.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Laughed my *ss off at "Use it well." And besides, that's very good advice.

Terrific post with a very sweet ending.


adrienzgirl said...

I love that you always end on a positive note when writing about the boys.

Owen does say some FUNNY stuff! Kids between 3-6 do though. They really are just characters.

noisycolorfullively said...

Whoo-Ha!!! Oh, Owen...

"His heaviness, his rosebud of a mouth, the sound of his gentle inhales and exhales----it's my own private ocean. The whole world stopped as he and I drifted and bobbed together, carefree, boundless, and at peace."

If this were in a book, I would have highlighted the sentences and dog-eared the page so I could come back to it again and again.

mama-face said...

#82... just wonderful.

I am seriously lopsided on which child of mine I focus the most on; I should tally that up.

Tally that up? I'm sure that's NOT stated correctly. sigh.

Lovely description of your own private ocean. What sweet boys you have.

Mrs4444 said...

That was sweet. Really; I loved it.

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahaha! Amelia has started with the tantrums already. Yesterday, her last (before bed) was because I dared to take her near the sink WITHOUT giving her a bath. THE AUDACITY!

When she talks, man, I'll never hear the end of it.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Beautiful post with an amazingly gorgeous ending. But I must say, most of all, I was really delighted with what you wrote about being a second time mom. I find myself feeling exactly what you described. I am less patient with Diego's outbursts than I was with Nino, because I know now that he won't die just because his sandwich fell apart. But at the same time, I am also more calm, because these things don't tear me apart in the way they did the first time. And I am able to walk away with my imaginary Smart Phone in hand (oh how I wish I had one of these) and RETREAT until it is all over. Love you, Nancy. You are a mommy genius!! xoxoxoxo