Sunday, June 20, 2010

Sundays in My City: Triathlon Report

So, this morning was the long-awaited triathlon. Really, I can't think of a better way to honor Paul's diligent work as a father than to allow him to do what he (and I) do our children while I chase my various flights of fancy.

I had whipped myself into a bit of a frenzy prior to the race. At the informational meeting, there was much talk of the various egregious errors that could result in the dreaded DQ (disqualification). Triathlon, apparently, is the Soup Nazi of endurance sports. One mistake and..."No Race For You!!"

Additionally, the organizer said more than once that Triathlon is a "thinking person's sport." Shit. Nobody told me this was freakin' chess. 

I managed to arrive by 6:30 AM. It was already about eighty-eight degrees. I dutifully set up my items in the "staging area." Note the socks-in-shoes awesomeness. Thinking person's sport.

 (Never mind that I had to take the socks out of the shoes to put them on...)

It takes a village for me to run a triathlon. I borrowed my friend Darlene's tri-suit, my friend Joanne's bike, and my friend Sellina's helmet. I also had an amazing team of ladies who trained and raced together:

I'm sure they will be thrilled I put this picture on the Interwebz. I'm the one rocking the camel-toe.

Something odd about triathlon racing is that they put your age on your back leg in Sharpie. Everybody wears signs, "I'm sixty-three!" "I'm forty!" "I'm twenty-seven!"

I made me realize that when it comes to telling age, I don't know a damn thing. While I was running, I was ready to kick this girl's ass...until I read that she was twelve. I was happy to see how good forty looks on so many people. Yet, if you asked me to guess, I would have been wrong almost every time. As a narcissist, I believe everybody is my age.

Except doctors. I'm too young to be a doctor. Is it possible that doctors were born in the Ford Administration?

I could go on, but I'll cut to the chase. I tried my best. I worked hard. I was happy with the results.

I also won a door prize, for something called "Heed" electrolyte drink in "Subtle Melon flavor." This made me laugh for two reasons:

1) I kept thinking of Mike Myers in So I Married An Axe Murderer, yelling at his son in a Scottish brogue, "Heed! Move! Now!"

2) If you're gonna drink Melon, why be subtle? I prefer EXTREME HARD-CORE MELON personally.

(I guess humor is subjective, because I just cracked myself up, again.)

Just 'cause, here's a picture of Joel eating a sandwich.

Happy Father's Day!

Unknown Mami


Frau said...

Wow you go girl a are my hero! Super impressed! Hope you babies Daddy is having a great day!

Ms. Moon said...

I am impressed as hell. I mean- seriously!

Coby said...

You. Totally. Rock. I mean, there was a time when I could say that "nobody I know does triathalons. Like, who DOES that?" This is no longer true. You are awesome.

ModernMom said...

I am all kinds of impressed....wit you taking on a tri and with the socks in the shoes:)

sd said...

I love that you were going to kick a 12-yr-old girl's ass. And I laughed out loud about the extreme melon flavor. That was funny indeed.

Jenny said...

Poor little 12 year old girl, doesn't know what hit here! ha! You're awesome. And I love that picture of your little feller.

Ummm....what is a camels toe?

Unknown Mami said...

So proud of you!

Happy Father's Day!!!

Erin said...

A tri? WOW Good job...I think I'm too lazy to do a Tri. =)

And Joel looks absoultely adorable!

SamiJoe said...

congrats to you!
completing a tri is hard--good for you!

Joanna Jenkins said...

WOW, WOW, WOW! Good for you! I hope you are really proud of yourself!!!

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh out loud more than any other blogger I read! And you quoted one of my top five favorite movies!

If anyone could make a camel toe look sporty, it's you! Way to be there.

Happy Father's day to Paul!

clearness said...

I can't even run to the mail box........Congrats!

Joy said...

Congratulations! That is really an accomplishment! I never knew about the age on the leg thing. Is that every triathlon? Weird.

Marla said...

Nancy, my friend, I am so proud of, inspired by and in awe of YOU!! I seriously wish we were neighbors.

dek said...

That boy's head's like Sputnik! Round, but quite pointy in places. Heeeed! Pants! Now!

Christine Forest, M.D. said...

Way to go! Thank you for being such a role model.

michelle said...

Triathalon? Totally impressive!

That pict of Joel is damn cute.

I'd recognize you even without the camel-toe

Salt said...

Holy crap. Cameltoe or not, a triathlon is something that I'd never be able to do! (I'm still laughing from that part...and then I laughed even harder when I got to EXTREME MELON!!!!!!!)

You are my hero. And Joel is adorable with his sandwich.

Minivan Lover said...

Excellent! I agree with Hard Core Melon flavor options.

Oh Joel! You get me every time :)

Melani said...

Your so awesome! A tri-athalon? totally awesome and no one would have noticed the camel toe had you not point that put, LOL :)

You look great BTW!

Eternal Lizdom said...

YOU ROCK!!! Way to go!!