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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I Only Get to Do this Once

My oldest is going to be five in February, and hasn't napped with any frequency for almost a year.

I chose to ignore this fact and call two to three hours a day "quiet time." I banished him to his room with some books and toys, and told him that he couldn't come out until his little brother woke up from his nap.

This worked out marvelously for about a year. Baby slept. Oldest learned self-regulation. I got to write.

Alas, though, times have changed. For a variety of reasons too tedious to explain, Owen is now downstairs with me during Joel's nap-time. It was time.

I tired to write while he was downstairs for a couple of days. I couldn't concentrate.This may explain the preponderance of posts involving the Pope.

I found myself pecking at a screen while my son played by himself in the backyard. It was a breathtaking fall day---just a hint of chill in the air, sunshine, glorious light.

And here I was, answering emails and checking my Facebook account.

Such a waste. I will never have that afternoon again.

So, things are going to change. The computer will remain off during the day. After they go to bed, I will have a conversation with my husband before I log in. I will write at the end of the day, and I will probably post far less frequently.

I only get to do this once. If I'm going to write my life, I had better start living it.

***

That being said...I am the featured writer for the Red Dress Club. This is a wonderful group of women writers.

Their weekly red writing hood challenges have really kick-started my fiction. Please consider joining them on Friday. Also, go ahead and click over to read my profile. I won't mind that one bit.

20 comments:

adrienzgirl said...

Oh the balance of being mommy, and writer.

I hope you find both the time to feed your Mommy soul and sate the writers thirst!

Coby said...

A cousin of mine just stopped writing her blog - in her words, "Life was passing her by while [she] was on the computer." You're so right - we only get to raise our kids once, live this life once. I want to be present for it.

The Blogging Goddess said...

I have to say that I totally respect that you are doing that. I think it is great. Now, if I could get my kids to turn off the TV, Computer and DS, then maybe we could have some quality time too!

erika said...

I think you are a wise woman.

shortmama said...

I couldnt agree more! I only get on the computer when my oldest is at school and my youngest is napping or after they go to bed.

Ratz said...

I am not a mother but i do understand a part of the things you have mentioned. it is difficult to balance events all at once... i hope that you are able to find a means to get back to your writing. all the best

and congrats for being the featured blogger.. TRDC rocks!

Maggie May said...

setting these limits on ourselves, reevaluating, is so important to peace.

only a movie said...

You'll figure it out... xo

Snuggle Wasteland said...

I think you are very wise and a good mother.

Quirkyloon said...

What a good Mommy! And what lucky little dudes to have such a good Mommy!

Michelle Pixie said...

You are one smart cookie! I find I am slowly coming to this realization as well. I am liking your policy!

Amy @ Never-True Tales said...

Stopped by via Red Dress Club. I admire your 'computer off' policy. I've tried various versions of this myself, and usually struggle with it. Luckily, I still have one precious hour of 'quiet time' at my house...although I know that won't last!

LB said...

I need to do the same. It's amazing how much better my daughter behaves when she gets quality time with Mommy.

MiMi said...

You are so right!
And you know what? I feel like I'm not even a "writer" so it's like, what the EFF am I doing "writing" while they play?
Forehead slap.

Matty said...

Setting priorities. Family is at the top of the list.

The Blue Zoo said...

Ive been thinking about this exact same thing. A lot. I want my blog to grow. But I have kids, a house to clean, I need to exercise, run errands... The list goes on and on. I end up staying up waaaay too late trying to catch up. And then Im all tired the next day, but the circle continues. I dont want to give up my blog, but somethings gotta give!

Joann Mannix said...

The eternal balance, we women will struggle with it, no matter what comes our way. You made the right choice. These days set before you will whoosh by like a Cat 5 hurricane. There will be plenty of days to come for writing. I know. I did it exactly like you're doing it and I don't regret a minute of digging in the dirt with a toddler instead of sitting in front of my computer screen.

I'm a few days behind, but I'm off to Red Dress.

Ash said...

I'm coming to this same realization myself, and it's why I only post Tues/Fri. I keep waiting for the gnomes to come and organize my life, but alas. My youngest will be 5 in March - kindergarten is coming too fast.

I feel myself stressing over comment replies, visits, who's doing more, etc. WTH? I'm short with my boys, with my husband, for what? My indulgence. I hate that.

I think you're onto something, my dear.

Karen Peterson said...

It's so nice to meet you!

I've been thinking a lot lately about the amount of time I spend online. If I ever hope to get my novel finished, I really need to start setting (and observing) some boundaries!

Marla said...

Such wisdom. Excellent.