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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Red Writing Hood: Ad patres

This week's Red Writing Hood Challenge is an opportunity to attempt poetry. The topic is "Where I'm From" and it follows a template. It's like Mad-Libs, minus the poop jokes. As always, comments and feedback are most valued!

 


Ad patres


I am sidewalk chalk, the Crayola gasp of discovery. 

I am the dusty stucco parade of houses, the false lawns in a thirsty land.

I am the ocotillo, her prickly tentacles bewitching and true. 

I am scribbled margins and restless dreams; new houses and shadowy men.  I am dreaming Marion, knitting her black afghan in the shadows..

"Be the hands that are missing," they say. "Remember that you represent our household," they chide. 

The sublime grace of the Frozen Chosen.

The sun cracks the desert floor like a piecrust, but I am the prairie's relentless chill. I am tamales and green jello-- big sky and big shoulders.
 
I am my grandmother's education, cut short and tied like sausages. I am the square carpenter's pencils, these stern lead fence-posts. I am the evening snoozes in the armchairs, the silent, ponderous yearnings. 

I am their perfect, singular bubble. Drifting, iridescent, and full, they watch me, whispering their hopes into the wind.

I  float, as soft as a dream, until I meet them in the sky.

23 comments:

Ash said...

Um, yeah - not disappointed. I really cannot get mine as poemy (my word) as you guys are.

This is lovely. I can feel your past and your witnesses.

I also learned what an ocotillo is - entertainment and education.

Very nice.

Joann Mannix said...

I am astounded and humbled by your "attempt". More like work of art. This was utter beauty. And once again, when I wander over here to your place, I am in love with these words you weave.

Cheryl said...

This is gorgeous and poetic and I probably shouldn't have read it until I was completely done with mine but now I did so I have to go back once again..

The Blogging Goddess said...

As usual....you are astounding. Seriously...astounding.

erika said...

I love this. You are fabulous!

Florida Girl Meets the Midwest said...

What beautiful imagery. Love the prairie juxtaposed against the desert...Love the references to your family. Well done!

Ratz said...

I agree with every other of the commenters.. this is beyond imagination... beauty at its very best

Snuggle Wasteland said...

I can't add anything to what everyone else has said. Just lovely.

nichole said...

I don't even know where to begin to tell you how strong this piece is.

I could go line by line, telling you why I love each of your words, but instead, I'll tell you that this is my favorite part:

"I am their perfect, singular bubble. Drifting, iridescent, and full, they watch me, whispering their hopes into the wind."

Wait...and "...the false lawns in a thirsty land."

And...okay, I'll stop. :)

Mommy Wis(h)dom said...

Beautiful!

Kerri said...

"cut short and tied like sausages"..your descriptions are simply amazing.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You are really good! This is gorgeous and pains such a lovely picture. Nice job.
Happy weekend, jj

The Drama Mama said...

YOu really knocked it out of the ballpark. This was fabulous!

MiMi said...

Just perfect. As usual. :)

Adelle said...

I'm wordless! Wordless! Exquisitely beautiful and I know I've used that word on you before! WOW!

Loved: I am my grandmother's education, cut short and tied like sausages. I am the square carpenter's pencils, these stern lead fence-posts.

Kristy said...

Oh, wow. You were truly able to make yours unique in your own voice even though it was a temple. I thought it was VERY good!

only a movie said...

Very very good.

We do a version of this with our students.

bcnaat said...

Simply descriptive! Beautiful work!

kirsten said...

so so so..... right. I love the image of the singular bubble - evanescent, fragile, but must be sent out into the world to fulfill its destiny.

I am really glad I finished before reading yours. :) Its beautiful.

StarTraci said...

Your poem is a beautiful, soft dream.

:-)
Traci

Bekah said...

Nancy- what a beautiful tribute to your family.

Erin said...

You blow me away every time. And I know I say that every time, but it's the honest truth. Your talent is overflowing...

Marla said...

This is amazing. I love how you weave it all together.