A package? A festive garland? A Christmas card? EVEN BETTER.
I recieved my yearly gift from our local nuclear power plant, Calvert Cliffs.
Wanna go sailing? Right by a nuclear reactor? I know just the place!
Oh...you didn't know I lived just minutes from an operational nuclear power plant? I do. It's like a real-life Springfield! Or Silkwood.
Allow me to quote directly from the form letter:
"Staying informed and prepared is an essential element of an effective emergency response plan. This year, we have teamed again with county officials to provide important emergency planning information to you in the form of a calendar."
That's right. Every year, we get our VERY OWN calendar. Not only does it show scenic shots of Chesapeake Bay landscapes and wildlife, it also lets us know when they will have their monthly siren test. This is designed to keep the anarchy at bay. (Get it--Bay? Heh. Heh.)
The back of the calender includes helpful tidbits like this:
What should I do if I hear the siren?
(Does "staying calm" include weeping, looting, and brandishing of firearms? Just checking.)
Why would I be told to take shelter indoors?
Staying indoors can protect you from the sun's radiation and can also protect you from man-made radiation that could be involved in a nuclear power plant emergency.
(I must say, I am delighted that the fine folks of Constellation Energy are so concerned about my skin cancer risks. That, people, is why one should stay indoors. How kind of them to add, incidentally, the slight risks of man-made radiation.)
They also explain, in the event of a nuclear emergency, "If you must go outside, cover your nose and mouth with a cloth to filter the air. When back inside, take a shower or at the very least wash your face and hands. Also, wash your clothes."
(Hey! Dirty birdies! This means you. At the very least, wash your hands and face after playing in the radioactive waste.)
I could go on and on, but I would like to sleep tonight. I mean, I haven't even shared the advice about how to protect one's crops and livestock in the event of nuclear winter....which would certainly be my first priority.
I live in a beautiful place, as long as I pretend the nuclear power plant does not exist. Generally, ignorance is bliss. I don't actually see the cooling towers, and on most days, I choose to close my ears and la-la-la it all away.
But, yet, I can count on my yearly calendar, with its warm wishes for a joyous, meltdown-free 2010.
I'm sure this is so not what Unknown Mami had in mind when hosting Sundays in My City. Nevertheless, please enjoy some other, less terrifying posts about our glorious world.