Monday, December 7, 2009

Yes, really.

I am going to do this super-short post right now because my eyes are bleeding with boredom.

I am sitting in a re-certification class to keep my teaching certificate. It is a five-day"digital storytelling" class. In other words, "How to make movies on your computer."

Since the movies I would like to make would be blocked by the school's decency standards, I made an insipid film teaching my son how to do his own laundry. 

Yes, really.

It took me the first day, and I have spent the remaining days farting around on the computer. One would think this would be a great time to catch up on blogging or something productive, but I've spent most of my time reading people's thoughts about the most recent episode of "Glee."

Yes, really.

I'll have you know that all of my teacher colleagues are using their time wisely. Since I"m not teaching right now, I don't have anything productive (grading, planning, etc.) to do. So, don't think that all teachers are slackers. Just me.

Here is the text of the great washing-machine film, in case you're interested. It's a POEM, y'all.

Yes, really.

I’m a Washing Machine,
And I’m here to say,
I’ll big and I’m bad,
Watch me wash the stains away!

You think you’re dirty?
I’ll take care of that!
I’ll scrub away the grime,
From your shoes, socks, or hat!

First lift my lid,
Then put in dirty stuff,
Don’t put too much in,
Stop! Stop! That’s enough!

Once my belly’s full,
It’s time to start the show!
Make sure the water’s cold,
And the level’s high, not low!

Don’t forget the important part,
You’ve got to add the soap.
Come on, Owen, add it in,
You won’t spill any! (I hope!)

Now that I’m all set up,
Press the button, let’s play!
I’ll churn, I’ll spin, I’ll dance, I’ll move.
I could do this all day!

I’m all done, that was fun!
I love to do my thing.
Every time I clean a load,
It makes my heart just sing!

Since you’re such a big boy,
You can wash clothes too!
I’m your friend, the washing machine,
Use me---you know what to do!

(Kill me now).


erika said...

You gotta get out of there. Preferably now. ;)

Coby Goesling said...

ROFLMAO! I can feel the pain of your boredom coming through...

Cat said...

Run! Like the wind!

OMG, last week's Glee was everything I was hoping it would be. Mr. Schuster, you beast!

Cinda said...

This is GREAT!!! As a prof in teacher ed I totally hear you! You could turn this into an entire curriculum! My daughter just went through something similar and she (an artist with weird artist thoughts) told me she was so bored she wanted to crawl through her own nostril. Anyway.....I'm serious, you could market this!

Frau said...

Love it!

Sonya said...

LOL, I LOVE it! ok, ok..incase you get bored again, could you possibly write a poem for me that tells my 9 yr old that peeing and playing your Nintendo DS do not go hand in hand?

noisycolorfullively said...

Just when i thought I might like to go back to teaching, I'm reminded of the nonsense I most certainly do not miss. Like a 5 day class teaching you how to do something you could learn in one day AND would probably never use in the classroom.

Hope you make it through the day... try not act on the urge to pull the fire alarm. I know you've thought about it.

Caution Flag said...

My life will not be complete until I see the finished product. Really.

I'm sorry you had to give four more days of your life to that class.

Corrie Howe said...

You are so wonderfully creative!!!! I love the poem. Are you trying to get it published?

blueviolet said...

hehe, that was so much fun! You crack me up with your little kill me now comment and the way you readily admit you're the one that's the slacker.

Love it!

Nikia, May and da kids said...

You are to funny (even if you are bored) and I am your newest follower. Can you tell me why that lil' boy pictured on the blog is the cutest little boy ever? I. LOVE. THE. GLASSES. Check us out sometime.


adrienzgirl said...

Sometimes the hysteria that comes along with being bleery eyed tired makes for the best posts!!

Carolyn @ My Backyard Eden said...

Can you please set that poem to music? You are too funny!

The (Un)Experienced Mom said...

Haha funny!! I hope you get that recognition from your SIL....or those diamond earrings!

Thanks for stopping by!


Mama Zen said...

That's hilarious!

michelle said...

Aye aye aye. Painfully funny


do i dare say it?

the next scorsesi

kys said...

The hoops we have to jump through...., I need to do 12 hours of ceu's before January 1st. I am really looking forward to that. *dripping in sarcasm*

Unknown Mami said...

Better than Shakespeare.

Ms. Moon said...

Yeah. I love that poem. I'm sorry but I do.

Jen said...

I have teaching certficates in two states, and God Willing, I'll never use them again. Not only because it would lead to an early grave, but because I'm fairly confident my large intestine would try to throttle my brain if I had to sit and do something like that. I've recently learned (thank you, darling husband), that I apparently have a low BS threshold. This would send me over the edge. ;)