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Monday, January 11, 2010

The Age of Aquarius

I attended college in Crunchybong, Arizona, more commonly known as Flagstaff. Flagstaff is famous for Northern Arizona University, the San Francisco Peaks, and hippies.



Another unique aspect of my alma mater is that it is very close to the Navajo Indian Reservation. I took classes with honest-to-Pete medicine men, and the people of the Navajo Nation shared their heritage with pride.

Additionally, thanks to the Navajo Nation, I was able to frolic in numerous drinking establishments of the greater Flagstaff area, because I had Veronica Yazzie's sister's ID.

This is me:

Joel was being naughty. Do you see that pout?











This is an approximation of the picture on the ID.

Nobody in Flagstaff ever gave me a hard time. Since we both had brown eyes, and I knew that she was an Aquarius (just ask me!) the ID MUST have been legit.

I happily used this ID for most of my undergrad, until I got cocky. It was New Year's Eve, and I decided to go to a Phunk Junkeez show in Phoenix. (The Phunk Junkeez are one of those terrible rap-metal hybrids so popular in the mid-Nineties. Before you judge too harshly, keep in mind that this was Phoenix, AZ. The only other band to come out of AZ? The Gin Blossoms. We're not exactly Seattle...)

So, I waited in the beer line, holding Veronica Yazzie's sister's ID, confident. After all, I knew that she was an Aquarius. I handed the ID to the juiced-up bouncer. He looked at the ID, glanced at me, grunted, and said, "This is the biggest pile of horseshit I have ever seen." He then cut up my golden ticket to Zima and Midori Sours with a pair of scissors the size of my head.

Oh, snap!

I suffered through the remaining seven months of my twentieth year, drinking the occasional Natural Light in the confines of my dorm room, until I finally turned twenty-one.

On that glorious day, my friend Sunshine and I went to a local Mexican restaurant for lunch. She wasn't twenty-one yet, but since she is Sunshine, the rules don't apply to her. They asked for my ID, which I brandished with glee. When they asked her for hers, she said, "C'mon now. You know I'm good. Please bring my friend a pitcher of your finest margaritas."

That lunch lasted about three hours, and involved much discussion of Neil Diamond and the time she partied with the Vandals. We returned to her dorm room and listened to NWA until we passed out took refreshing afternoon naps.

I woke up in time to lurch to my afternoon class: Creative Writing of Poetry. We were doing one of those poems where everybody writes a line and passes the paper on...a poetic form of "telephone" if you will. In my tipsy stupor, I wrote the same line every time: "And then the kitty-cat smoked a doobie."

Just call me Maya Angelou.

***
Interested in reading other memoirs? Stop by Travis's site, I Like to Fish, and take a gander...

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33 comments:

Travis said...

Arizona, Seattle, Phunk, Gin Blossoms, Neil Diamond, Maya Angelou and booze.

How could this NOT be a win?

Thanks for sharing!

Ms. Moon said...

I'm with Travis.

Rebecca said...

You and me girl, we must be on the same page because I was thinking about starting one of those stories/poems/whatevers, on my blog where I start a blog entry and encourage others to post the next sentence, paragraph, whatever...just something about where they want to take the story. I remember doing those in my creative writing class. I loved them the most of all. (I just don't have too many followers and am worried it would be an empty post) Maybe I'll go ahead and do it!!

For some reason, my lines always consisted of hot air balloons, fluffy kittens, and colors like pale pink, light lavender, sunny yellow......and I wasn't 12. I was 19!

LMJ said...

I loved my creative writing class!!! We did one where we had to write a 3-4 sentence paragraph! It was so much fun reading the story at the very end!

Ah, the college years, when we are old enough to live on our own, but not to drink. I remember getting kicked out of a bar for buying drinks for my friend who would be 21 in like a month. Losers.

Melani said...

all I can say is... and the kitty-cat smoked a doobie, hahahahah aI will be laughing to myself all day! Thanks I needed that! :)

Cinda said...

Good one all around! Flagstaff, Eugene (U of O), Moscow (U of I) and many, many more universities around the country with the same "flavor". Love it! Thanks for sharing.

The Rambler said...

Two things.

1. I had to get my supervisor once when I carded these two kids visiting Hawaii. From "Wyoming" that were wearing the same Hawaiian shirts and shell necklaces on their 'legit' ID's. My supervisor told them the same thing to you. Glad your purged that memory back for laughs.

2. I am so curious how the poems came out with your consistent one liner :) And what the teacher's reaction was.

xoxo

Stephanie said...

Ah ... but how many layers of symbolic meaning can be gleaned from "the kitty cat smoked a doobie?"

Robin said...

I love how you got to use it for so long.... thats great..!..I was the forgery Q U E E N..(oops my age is showing)..because i could "fix' everyones license or birth certificates and get them into clubs..that of course was when they were on regular paper...and we always got in...YES..!!..it saounds like alot of fun in Arizona..wasnt U of Arizona the biggest party school last year..?

Daffy said...

Zima and Midori Sours.....sigh...those were the days...

This is a rockin' memoir! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

BTW the pic of your boys always makes me smile so big :O)

Unknown Mami said...

I was really into this post and then the kitty-cat smoked a doobie.

Marla said...

So funny and yet so familiar. I believe I lived this in the '70s.

The picture of your little guy is so sweet!

Cat said...

Love this story. My fake ID had my pic on it and was from Delaware (thanks random guy behind a storefront in Chinatown who had a laser printer and a laminater!)... but thanks to a big crackdown in DC I was mostly too wussy to use it there. It worked in New York though!

Nikia, May and da kids said...

Please Nancy think about putting Joel in print/ad modeling. Even with a pout that boy is so adorable.

Fake ID, hey isn't that a right of passage when you are in college? Dang that hating bouncer! I'm sure you looked just like Veronica's sister = P

The Lumberjacks?? Wow! Drove through Flagstaff many a times on to other states but never actually stayed there longer than 4 hours. I had an "incident" there with a stranger one time and he we partook of the yerba and now that I'm a changed gal ... well, I think you can fill in what I did for my 4 hours with some random hot Native.

May

adrienzgirl said...

And then the kitty-cat smoked a doobie....

best poetry line ever!

j said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Jenny Wempen Erickson

Alex said...

I love this post!

I went through so many fake IDs it was crazy. Back in the days before bouncers got a brain.

Frau said...

OMG that was a great story! I can barely remember those days, surprised I have a brain cells left!

Sonya said...

You are sooooo damn funny..seriously. Im laughing right now and my kids are giving me..wth is wrong with her look? LOL

I never went to college dang it..

The Kitty-Cat smoked a doobie..man thats going to keep me going alllll day long..LOL

AudreyO said...

I never used the fake ID when I was younger. I was always too afraid of being caught.

Bethany said...

Thanks for the laugh!

What does come after that line though?

Joel looks so darn cute, pouting up close to you.

Neil Diamond and Gin Blossoms. Yeah.

Mama Zen said...

That is the greatest line ever!

Caution Flag said...

You will forever be Maya 2/M2 to me now!

michelle said...

That bouncer musta been HIGH. You could TOTALLY pass for Veronica Yazzie's sister.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

oh gosh - this post brought back lots of college memories! thanks for sharing!

noisycolorfullively said...

Hilarious!

I would have envied you in college. I only drank the Boon's Farm my roomate was brave enough to score and it took a whole lot to get little tipsy.

My 21st birthday was spent with my parents and family friends in a small mexican resturaunt. I was newly married and embarassed by the fact that my mom couldn't even get through a whole drink without snorting and swaying. Truth is, I was the same way.

Then I became a teacher and my peers introduced me to a little bar where we gathered monthly to talk about things other than school, though that's usually where the conversation wound up. There I learned to like and hold my liquor. I don't miss the teaching, but I sure do miss those montly department meetings at the bar.

Nicole said...

You are so right, the rules just did not apply to Sunshine. :-)

Busted Kate said...

Ok this makes me laugh because we STILL cling to the Gin Blossoms. There should have been a dozen bands between now and 1995 that came out that AZ could showcase proudly. But nope. Still just Gin Blossoms. Oh and maybe Jimmy Eat World? Does anyone even know them? It's a pretty sad state for music.

Everyone in my family but me was a Lumberjack. Your football team may suck but everyone to come out of there is a peaceful, zen sort of person!

Corrie Howe said...

I loved living in Scottsdale area. But I was way too young to do the things you are talking about.

Naomi de la Torre said...

HILARIOUS!!! I went to University of Arizona in Tucson to get my MFA in creative writing!!! Who knew we were both in AZ? That is awesome. I also worked on the Native American reservation outside of Tucson during my time there, but did not procure any fake IDs out of this experience unfortunately. Your story is awesome. And the ending is perfect. "And then the kitty-cat smoked a doobie." What could be better than that?

Eyegirl said...

Great Story!

kys said...

"And Then The Kitty Cat Smoked A Doobie" would be a fantastic title for a book!

Loved you story!

Lynn said...

I'm going to remember that line about the doobie! Your story brought back memories. My fake ID was my own that a guy switched a number on my address with a number on my birth year. You could do that back in those days!