Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I didn't realize it was Comment on My Poor Parenting Day

This hit me at the right place at the right time. 

Dear Every Person in the Entire World,

Yes, I have heard that my kid looks like Ralphie from A Christmas Story!

I have also heard that he looks like Harry Potter.

And yes, I have also heard that he looks like the kid from Jerry Maguire.

But bless your heart for telling me. Really. You're very, very creative. Thanks ever so much.

PS---Yes, the glasses are real. If I was to dress my kid in a costume, I would dress him like Freddie Mercury. Doesn't every mother want that?

Dear Lady at Target,

Thank you for telling me that my child should be wearing shoes. I have heard of this delightful invention, but have yet to find a pair that Joel will not remove with extreme prejudice and utter disgust. Thank you for letting me know that I am slowly killing my child through indifference and neglect. Cheers!

Dear WaWa,

Thank you for being a beacon of hope and beauty in the world of gas stations. You play Donna Summers at the pumps.Your coffee bar is stocked with Kona coffee and fresh creamer. Your freshly-toasted, delicious subs, are, in a word, transcendent.

And so, I thank you, WaWa. You bring joy, one fountain drink at a time.

Dear Owen's Teacher,

Thank you for your object lesson about germs and disease. You've given my son the gift of compulsive germaphobia, which is, as you know, the gift that keeps giving!

Ahhhhhhhhhh, I feel a bit better.

Link up with adrienzgirl if you feel like sending some thank-you love!

Think Tank Momma


Nancy C said...

I'm kinda not good at reading directions. The WaWa love was real, not sarcastic. Just to be clear. This is WaWa we're talking about, and I would never cast aspersions.

June said...

Oh, but I do believe your Thank Note can be either snarky or nice... at least that is the way I introduced it on my post.
I don't think B would have any issues with us bloggers actually writing nice letters.

Your son is adorable!

SamiJoe said...

Well, everyone may think your little boy looks like those others.... but i think with those glasses, he is simply, himself!
i'll never forget that little face!

SamiJoe said...

ps--hmm...i'm not sure what grades of english you taught, but i see so much thoreau and emerson in your writing! slightly reminiscent of Irving and Mr. Winkle.

Tracie said...

Oh, I hate nosy ladies who try to tell me what to do with my kids!

Rebecca said...

I once had someone at Target (humm, thinks about that for a second) tell me that I needed to put gloves on my 2 year old and a hat on my newborn. He was in his infant car seat carrier, with a blanket over most of him...........Whatever, if that's the biggest injustice I've caused my kids, I'm doing pretty good.

Ms. Moon said...

Oh. I could definitely send a few thank-you notes. I'll ponder that.

Stephanie said...

*Laughing* HUGS, Nancy.

Minivan Lover said...

I think the next time someone asks you about his glasses you should say that you are thinking about taking him for Lasik surgery. THAT will get a great reaction! ;)

Caution Flag said...

If I start with the thank-you notes, I will wear the letters off the keyboard, so it's best that I allow all those thank-you's to fester in my gut.

Unknown Mami said...

I think your son is far cuter than those he is compared to and I'm sorry, but his glasses kick their glasses' butts.

noisycolorfullively said...

You make me laugh Nancy C. Who cares who the world thinks your kid looks like... he's freakin' adorable.

And the distaste for shoes must come with the age. Simeon throws his violently and often in public. Christmas eve he hit an old lady in the back of the head at my parents' church.

As long as he doesn't have to walk much, I don't bother fighting.

Margo said...

Congratulations on high mastery of that elusive feminine art of the "shot across the bow." (your kid is adorable and like the gift that keeps on giving that old bat had undoubtedly driven her own offspring into therapy ages ago. :)

Corrie Howe said...

I agree that your sons, both, are adorable. People do say something which can be troublesome, but I don't think they mean it as it can sometimes be taken.

Eternal Lizdom said...

We don't have WaWa here and now I am VERY sad about it!!!

mama-face said...

I could feel your tension rolling away as I read. That's what blogging is all about. :)

That and making new friends.

Freddie Mercury. bahahahaha.

Eyegirl said...

I don't particularly like shoes either. I say get away with not wearing them for as long as possible!

adrienzgirl said...

I loved your Thank You Notes. They don't have to be snarky, I just typically have more smartass comments than not! :D

Thanks for playing!!

Daffy said...

Awesome! Brilliantly played and well balanced!

People just need to worry about thier own children...or at least the children who really do need someone else looking out for their welfare.

When my daughter first found her voice she made sounds very similar to a chinese dialect. While at wallyworld one day she yammered on for quite some time. When she finally paused I lovingly (and jokingly) told her that what she said may well be true but in our house we speak English and expected her to abide but such rules. If looks could kill the woman in the asile with me would've reduced me to a puddle. Really, who talks to a 9 month old like that?!? said...

I ADORE those blue glasses!!

Holly Homemaker said...

I got a good giggle out of that post, and your little guy is just adorable!

Cat said...

Hopefully the comparisons are in the spirit of "he's as cute as..." but I beg to differ, because he's SO much cuter than any of those characters.

I think I was asked where my baby's hat was about 20 times in his first 2 months. Old people here are all UP in your bidness when you have a baby.

A friend of mine from Delaware is always singing Wawa's praises. I really wish they'd expand here.

michelle said...

I love your Love Notes. Think I need some Love Notes too.

Sometimes folks just make you wanna spit!

Big smiles for you, Nancy C.

Traci said...

Okay. Lot to say...

First, I admit it. I thought that he looked like the Jerry Maguire kid but I never said it. Actually he's cuter.

My daughter always takes one shoe off. We have a collection of single shoes for her. we're saving them for her wedding car. (LOL)

My son has been obsessed with germs too. I guess it's required curriculum post H1N1.

What is WaWa? Sounds like a piece of heaven. I don't think we have them in Texas. More excuse to visit.

Thanks to you for your funny blog and being such a great visitor!

Joanna Jenkins said...

It cracks me up when people thing they are sooooooo original in their parenting "observations". Ahhh, yes, I could just smack them :-)

Cinda said...

Those babies grow up so darn fast. I must be a real Amma when I can read this and laugh. Your boys are cuter than cute. I am just so happy when my little 20-month old grandson yells, "Comeeeer, Amma. Show you one thing quick." I am NOT kidding. Last time he and I were "out" someone let me know that he had exceedingly thick feet. Hmmm. Good observation. Thank you for giving me a giggle this time of the night!

Sonya said...

I just love you..I really really do. I could thank countless dutch people,the dutch school,the list could really go on.

I never thought he looked like Ralphie..I think he is way cuter than all of them.

I couldnt put shoes on my kids for the longest time. They had Fred Flintstone feet and nothing ever fit right. Piss on her.

Frau said...

Good to get it all off your chest.....your little boy is so cute! Everyone has something to say...people should mind their own business!!

Robin said...

First of all everyone looks like someone else but do we need to always say it...WTF about the Target lady..doesnt anyone think before speaking...who does she think she is anyway...Im venting I guess, but i just cant believe people and their ignorance and nerve...What..! she doesnt think you know about shoes..?..we need a little book of great comebacks..I always think of them "later" and not at the perfect moment...know what I mean..?..LOL

Bethany said...

Great job.
This is so funny and kind of sad too. People suck sometimes. Sheesh.
Is there really a store name wawa? How wonderful. I'm glad it has lots of good things that make you happy.