Tuesday, March 30, 2010

No Country For Non-Seasonal Peeps

Dear JustBorn, creators of Marshmallow Peeps: 

I have specific, non-negotiable rules about seasonal candy. For example, Valentine's hearts are only good in February. Likewise, candy corn is strictly for Halloween. And, most importantly, Marshmallow Peeps are strictly for Easter. Or Passover, for my Jewish friends.

There has been a disturbing trend to package Peeps for other holidays. Marshmallow Ghosts. Marshmallow Christmas Trees. Patriotic Peeps. I have even seen Valentine's Day Peeps. Contemptible.

This is a miscarriage of all things good and holy regarding your fine confection. This abomination ends today.

As a child, I would go outside with my pink plastic Easter basket and collect the eggs. Although I enjoyed the jelly beans and the peanut-butter eggs, I cherished the yellow Peeps most of all. The rest of my family did not share my love, calling your delectable marshmallow and sugar goodness "gross" or "too sweet."

Their loss. My method of consumption was tried and true. I would leave the Peeps out for a day or two until they achieved the perfect, slightly stale consistency I craved. I would begin with the butt, and nibble my way to the perk little beak. Bliss.

The last bite was bittersweet, (at least as bitter as a marshmallow covered in sugar can be), for I knew I would need to wait an entire year until my next Peep. And so, I learned patience. I learned of the fleeting nature of small joys. I learned to savor good things.

And yet, in search of  Almighty Profits, the next generation will not learn these lessons. Immediate gratification! Peeps for the sake of peeps! Good God, JustBorn, do you wish to leave such a painful legacy?

Save the future. Save yourself. Make Peeps a seasonal treat. Limit yourself to yellow bunnies and pink rabbits.

It's the right thing to do.

 Make it Work!
Avoid the bloodbath. 

Save us all. 



Thanks to adrienzgirl for indulging such foolishness

 Think Tank Momma


blueviolet said...

You speak what must be spoken!

Viv said...

Peeps at Easter only...or never are fine by me. Peeps taste like food coloring. Am I the only one who can 'taste' food coloring?

Erin said...

I am a Jew, but I love my Peeps! MmmMMMMmMmmm!

ANd this is a moving tribute in their honor. You are awesome!

Coby said...

As a person of color, I am bound by an age-old hip-hop regulation to have peeps. ;-)

I agree with you completely. This is along the same lines of "When it is March, I must only make things from March's Cooking Light Magazine; no looking back to Feb., or ahead to April."

So right, my friend. So right.

Robin said...

Haaaa.... I do remember waiting until they were a wee bit are so funny for reminding me of that..but now we are after the chocolates...still they (peeps) should be kept for the holidays only.....!

SamiJoe said...

Peeps for Peeps Sake! Too funny!

Love that you love something better stale; i love licorice on the hard side and cheezies completely stale-so they melt in your mouth.

Kori said...

I secretly hate them. Well. Not secretly anymore. The crunch of the sugar sets my teeth on edge, and they taste like those hard colored sugar sprinkles, which is not good. However, the chocolate covered peeps? Ambrosia. But you were right about one thing: Only.At.Easter.

adrienzgirl said...

I totally agree with your whole candy law here. Only hearts at Valentines Day. Only candy corn at Halloween. Peeps only for Easter.

Awesome post!

Thanks for playing!!

*LLUVIA* said...

i've never had that candy in my life! can u believe it?

clearness said...

You should submit this to the open letters blog (I think I have it on the blogs I read list). Love it and agree completely .

Cat said...

I'm not into peeps, but I know how I'd feel if I could get cream-filled Cadburys in November. It's just wrong.

only a movie said...

Only yellow and only in its original Peep form. No bunnies. NO BLUE.

Jenny said...

Prepare yourself.

They now have sugar free peeps.

I'm sorry to break it to you like that.

Daffy said...

Is it weird that I don't like Peeps?



This thing on?

Yeah....I don't like 'em

Ms. Moon said...


When did I become my Mom said...

This is so true and so funny! I love the Project Runway bunnies, but the Hudson... that is classic!

TerresaE said...

I cannot believe there are people outside my own family who only eat the peeps once they are stale. We all do that and everyone else thought we were strange. Glad to have company!

Jen said...

I am the same with my Peeps. Easter only, must be slightly stale, and I only need a couple a year. I eat the eyes off first, though. ;)
Jen at Laughing at Chaos